


The hidden gem

by Totsietilly



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28028073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totsietilly/pseuds/Totsietilly
Summary: Tilly Lynn (yes imma use my real name, even though almost all my friends use this website) is a 19 year old girl when it happens. 3 years later she's just a plain old scientist, straight A's, however can she hide her other identity, especially when she meets some other extraordinary individuals?





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - Tony Stark**

I cradle my drink in my hands, hunched over the table. Slowly I take a sip of my drink, the sharp flavour of Ginger Beer rushes over my tongue, followed by the sting of rum. I can't really recall how I ended up in this bar, I guess I've been a little lonely these past years, since the accident I've found it hard to let myself get close to people. I often find myself in bars similar to this one, by the end of the night I find myself pinned against a grimy bathroom wall, my head fuzzy, only to wake up the next morning, filled with shame, and the cycle restarts. Tonight feels different though, tonight I don't plan to get shitfaced, tonight I'm going to make a change. I hadn't even noticed when my glass finally sat empty, too deep in my thoughts again I guess, until a fresh glass is slid into its place by the bartender. "uh sorry but I didn't order another drink?" I glance up at the man, who gives me a soft smile, before strolling off to help another customer. "thought you'd perhaps be up for a conversation?" a smooth yet slurred voice asks from beside me. I turn to meet the charming face of Tony Stark, with his classic charming smile. "Perhaps, depends what you're after." I cross my arms in defense, "I know your act, Tony Stark, I'm not looking to be another cheap hookup tonight." I sass, half lying. It's not like I've said no to men half as attractive as him before. And he saw right through me anyway. "Don't worry, hun, I'm not gonna force you into anything" he slurs, then proceeds to flop onto the floor in a fit of giggles. "c'mon then giggles, let's get you home." I roll my eyes, grabbing his arm and gently pulling him up, where he ends up with his arms around my shoulders, still giggling. After 10 minutes of him getting heavier and heavier against my body, he finally drifts off, his grasp of my shoulders loosening as he slumps towards the ground. I let out a startled "oh!" as I catch him, picking him up bridal style, being caught off guard by how light he is. 

We finally reach the avengers tower a little after 3am and push a little grey button to the right of the door, which I expected to be a doorbell. "Hello Miss Tilly Lynn, do you wish for me to awake the avengers?" a friendly yet robotic voice calls out. "wait what? how do you know my -? you know what, never mind. No need to wake the avengers, I was wondering if i could be let in as i have a passed out drunk Tony Stark with me. I want to make sure he doesn't end up drowning in his sleep or something stupid" haha imagine that, the great Iron Man, killed by his own vomit. "of course Miss Lynn, Right this way." I enter the building, admiring the darkened room. everything a shade of grey, from white to black, yet a striking red table sits in the center of the room. small bursts of lights flash, leading me to Tony's room, where i place him down on a spacious bed. Quickly removing his shoes, I pull his duvet over him, watching as he naturally snuggles up in the sudden warmth. When he's laid out like this, you can see the barriers melt away, leaving a clearly vulnerable, hurting man. his eyes circled by dark shadows, his face occasionally contorting in worry. I slowly slip out the door, quietly shutting it behind me. Not too sure what to do now, I make my way over to a light grey sofa, planting myself down, trying to figure out the easiest way to get home as I left my motorbike a 40 minute walk away at the bar. "could i interest you in a glass of water, Miss Lynn?" I nearly jump out of my skin, confusion flooding through my head. "uhhh wha- um, yes please?" I glance quickly around, my hand curling into a fist. "sorry to startle you Miss Lynn, my name is JARVIS, I'm a AI that was created by Tony." the voice replies, as i see a kitchen area light up. "the glasses are in the cupboard to your left, and there are bottles of water in the fridge. please help yourself." he informs me as i cautiously make my way over to the lit up area. "um, thanks. also, feel free to call me Tilly, I'm not important enough to be called Miss." JARVIS lets out a soft chuckle, "ok Tilly, would you prefer to spend the night here, the next available taxi would take just over an hour to get here if not" "yeah that's sounds great if it's ok with you. I'm rather tired after hauling Tony across town and I left my Bike at the bar." I reply, taking a sip of water. "of course Tilly, there are no spare beds, however feel free to borrow a blanket from the cupboard and sleep on the sofa." JARVIS tells me, turning off the lights as I exit the kitchen.

An annoying buzzing sound fills my brain the next morning.  _ where the hell is that bloody alarm clock? _ I roll over, feeling for my small table, and land on a soft carpet. "what the hell?" I glance around in shock, out the corner of my eye I see my arm flickering. "oh great now you've started." I roll my eyes and get up, carefully folding the blanket. "Sorry to wake you so suddenly, Tilly, however Tony's vitals are spiking and I was wondering if you'd go and help him out?" JARVIS informs me. "yes of course JARVIS" I stand up and make my way silently into Tony's room, to see the man curled up in a ball, shaking, clearly in the middle of a nightmare. I place a hand on his shoulder, carefully whispering his name. He wakes with a start, confusion painted across his face. "you're still here? so sorry about last night..." he mumbles, clearly still a little confused after his dream. "It's no problem Mr Stark, JARVIS offered to let me sleep on your couch as I left my bike back at the bar. I'll be getting off now, Is there anything else I can do for you?`` I ask. " no no don't worry. Can I interest you in some breakfast before you go? I make killer pancakes!" he brags as he rolls out of his bed. "That would be lovely Mr Stark, thank you." "nope call me Tony, Mr Stark was my dad." he struts out of the room, whacking a door loudly as he goes. "Wake up lazy head, I'm making pancakes." I chuckle as I slide into one of the bar stools surrounding the bright red table. Tony starts humming an AC/DC song as he stirs the pancake mix, the whole room smelling of cooking batter in a matter of minutes. 

"cooking for your hookups now are we, Stark?" a female voice chirps. I glance around to see Natasha Romanoff leaning against the door, an amused smirk on her face. "Surprisingly not a hookup, I just had to carry a passed out Tony halfway across town last night so JARVIS let me stay the night. Tilly Lynn, Astrophysics." I reach out a hand towards her, which she grasps confidently. "Natasha Romanoff, nice to meet you" "you too Miss Romanoff." I smile at her, feeling a pang of jealousy at how good she looks in a faded top and jeans. I tend to swing more towards men, but have to admit I've caught myself admiring girls more than once. Tony places 3 plates of pancakes down on the table. "dig in then. anyone want a drink?`` I shake my head as he pours himself and Natasha glasses of orange Juice.

half an hour of idle small talk later and I'm gathering up my jacket and heading to the door. Bruce Banner did finally emerge from his room, coaxed out by pancakes, only to shoot me a small smile and disappear once more. Tony holds the door open for me as I shake Natasha's hand once more. "it was a pleasure meeting you both, thanks for the pancakes." "no problem, thanks for helping me out last night. are you sure I can't give you a lift?" Tony offered once again, smiling at me softly. "No thanks Tony, I have a couple errands to run before I pick up my bike anyways." I smile at him as I shake his hand, before turning to exit, when a man speeds around the corner. My hand balls into a fist and I jump into a defensive stance. "Whoa kid, don't worry it's just cap." Tony places a hand on my shoulder. I relax again slightly, only to catch something out the corner of my eye, my arm, flickering again. "oh shit" I mumble under my breath, before taking off running with Tony shouting after me. I round a corner, curling up. I can't believe I let that happen! A few years ago, I got captured by some German scientists while away on a business trip. they gave me my 'gift' while experimenting on me. Three days of agony, strapped to a soaked bed, unsure if i was going to live or die. I walked away, thinking I was almost unscathed, to find that my body randomly starts to 'flicker', where it quickly moves from visible to invisible, with no way to stop it except to just wait it out. I've worked for years to try and stop it, to just understand the physics of how it works, yet I keep coming up empty. This is the reason I can't get close to anyone, no one can know. And now the most powerful group of people know. welp.

Slowly, the flickers stop, and I pull myself up. yanking my hood over my head, I take off running again, towards my motorbike.

**-{S}-**

I roll out of bed, bright and early, the memory of my dream fresh in my mind. I was watching Bucky fall from my grasp, over and over, him screaming my name, him spattering against the frozen rock. I rub that final image from my eyes, wiping away a couple of stray tears in the process. I pull on a pair of shorts and a light grey T shirt before heading out to the kitchen. "Hey J. What's my day looking like?" I ask JARVIS, while pouring myself a glass of water. "no plans yet today, sir, enjoy your jog." JARVIS replies. "c'mon J we've been over this, no need to call me sir." I grin, stopping in my tracks when I spot a small figure curled up on our sofa. "uhh J? who's the girl on the sofa?" I ask quietly. "that is Tilly Lynn, Astrophysicist. she helped a rather drunk Tony home last night." JARVIS informs me. "of course" i mumble rolling my eyes. The girl can't be older than 22. her pale skin glows in the early morning light, her lips whispering words in her sleep. her long brown wavy hair in a mess, played out over the cushion yet as she rolls over I notice that one side of her head is shaved, revealing a snake tattoo under the shaved hair, where it curls around her ear before disappearing. JARVIS makes a sound to mimic clearing his throat, and i feel a blush creep over my cheeks when i realize i had been staring at her a little too long. "Well I'm off, see you later J." I mumble as I hurry out the door, keeping my eyes trained to the ground. I take off running, letting the cool morning air wash away all thoughts of the dream, and the small girl, who is refusing to leave my mind.

An hour later I round the corner onto our street, my hair tousled by the wind and my mind sufficiently cleared. I turn again onto our driveway, only to see the girl from the sofa jump into a defensive stance, ready to defend a very startled and confused looking Tony. behind him I see Natasha whip her head around at the sudden movement. Tony places a soothing hand on her shoulder and i watch as Tony's expression goes from concerned to confused when she starts flickering like a lightbulb. She takes off running and Tony shouts after her, knowing he wouldn't catch up to her. I was obviously too focused on the girl to realize how close I was to the pavement, and only noticed when it was smashed into my face. I quickly pulled myself up and headed inside for a shower. so much for clearing my mind.


	2. The star spangled distraction

**-{T}-**

3 days after my run in with the Avengers, I've all but forgotten the worry that plagued my mind that day. I've drowned myself back into my work and am back outside with my telescope tonight. Sleep hasn't come easily to me these last few nights, most of them I've spend either looking up or working out, trying to get that image of Captain America out of my head. I'd only saw him for a breif second before i started flickering, but that second somehow managed to transform me back into a 16 year old, crushing on my new friend as if they'd actually like me back. His blond hair was perfectly tousled, his tight shorts and drenched shirt not leaving much to the imagination. We'd shared a quick glance before I randomly freaked out for no reason and I'd felt the most relaxed I'd felt in a long time. And this is why I've decided that I need to back to school, maybe hang out with some people the same mental age as me. God, I've never felt so irritated at my own head. In my distraction, I somehow manage to knock my telescope over. perfect. I pull it back upright and restart the annoying task of getting the telescope horizontal, making sure it is perfectly balanced, centering it at polaris, etc, etc. Finally I manage to get the telescope sorted, after another 15 minutes, and adjust the direction so its pointing towards the Andromeda Galaxy. Astronomy has always been able to calm me down, and I'd gotten so invested in watching the galaxy rush by, that i hadn't noticed the time. The small smudge gets harder and harder to see until I slam into what feels like a car. I'd just finished packing away my telescope and i turned around to grab the counterweight I'd left on the ground when a blur of black fabric slams directly into me and everything goes dark.

I slowly wrench my eyes open to hear a strangely familiar voice. "she is waking up now. there's not going to be any lasting damage, just the odd bruise." the first voice explains calmly. "Well I'd be bruised up if a capsicle flew into me at 30 miles per hour. I mean jeez cap, aren't you meant to be pretty good at not running into stuff?" a second voice teases, this one harsher sounding than the first, yet more familiar. I slowly open my eyes before the person can respond, only to be met with the calm gaze of Dr Banner. "Hi Tilly, I'm Bruce Banner. How are you feeling?" he asks, smiling down at me. "yeah ok, a little like I've been run over though. what happened?" i ask, pulling myself into a sitting position. "Capsicle trampled you on his daily jog" I turn to face Tony to see him grinning his head off. He throws me a wink before sinking into a chair. "I'm so sorry miss Lynn although I'm glad you're okay." Steve walks over to me, placing his hand on my arm. "It's ok Mr Rogers not the worst thing thats ever happened." I joke, smiling at them. "Please, there's no need to be so formal with us, just call us by our first names, we all know about you anyway" Dr Banner tells me smiling at be. "how is it you all know about me anyways? I mean I'm not exactly top gossip" I reply. Maybe JARVIS told them about me helping Tony? "oh no reason. Do you think you can stand? we're gonna watch a film together if you want to join" Steve tells me, rushing over the first part, making Tony snigger. "sure that'd be cool thanks." I reply, ignoring Tony's laughs. I get to my feet, only for my ankle to collapse underneath me. A pair of strong arms break my fall and hold me upright. Against their body. I'm pressed against Steve's body. This is not helping my weird hormone fueled brain. "Tilly are you ok??" Steve asks in a panicked voice. I feel a pair of warm hands gently pressing at my ankle as Steve helps me back to the bed to sit down. "I think it might be sprained. wait here a second." D Banner tells me as he rushes out of the room. I take a moment to take stock of where i am. I appear to be in a bedroom, not unlike Tony's with the double bed and colour scheme, however a few dated books sit on the shelves, theres a half finished sketch on a pale wooden desk in the corner and the room is significantly less messy than Tony's. Before I can work out whose room it is, Bruce walks back in and puts a bandage over my ankle. "this should help it heal, when we get downstairs I'll get you a couple painkillers" he says as he ties the bandage. Steve ends up carrying me downstairs, even though I insist that it should be fine. He places me down on the sofa and sits down next to me as Bruce hands me a couple pills and a glass of water. Steve's arm ends up on the sofa behind my head as we all settle in to watch the Martian, one of my favourite films. About halfway through Clint and Natasha join and we all end up having a big popcorn fight, in which Clint kept managing to always hit people directly in the nose. When that film ends we put on another, and we all end up squished onto the same sofa with Tony stretched out over all our laps. Steve's arm is still behind my head and I'm now basically sitting on his lap because Bruce started to lose his cool and went a little bit green before calming down. My eyes start to droop and a soft hand strokes my head relaxingly. I hear a couple whispers and feel Steve go all hot, before he shifts closer and places my head gently on his chest before I drift off to sleep. I wake up with a start when panicked voices fill my ears. "BRUCE what the hell is going on????" Steve shouts. "well I don't know its definitely not a side effect of a sprained ankle!" Bruce replies, sounding stressed out. "HEY lets all just calm down okay?? Things are just gonna get messy if we get stressed out" Natasha replies giving a pointed look in Bruce's direction where his skin has a slight green tint. He takes a deep breath as I sit up, looking around for why they're so panicked. Steve is pacing in front of the sofa but stops when he sees me sit up. they all turn and give me a worried look. "okay what's going on? you're all looking at me as if I died!" I say, getting a headache from confusion. Steve comes and kneels down in front of me, taking my hands. Instead of saying anything though, he just lifts them up until I see why they're so panicked. I'm flickering. Badly. "oh god ok yeah I need to explain this." "yeah that might be a good idea. Are you sick? why wouldn't you tell us!" Tony shouts, rushing towards us. I take a deep breath and start to explain my past. I describe the room I was in, the people, the feeling of giving up, escaping, then the dread of never being the same again. they all watch with sympathetic gazes, Steve keeping me in a tight hug. I don't understand why, but he's been really protective over me today. not that I don't love it I suppose, with my 16 year old mind. "so you see now, why I couldn't tell you?" I ask catching all of their gazes. "I'm an unstable monster. I mean I've spent years trying to understand the physics of this, Its physically impossible! No one can ever get close to me because this happens! I can't control it! I hate it..." My voice fades away in a flood of tears, as Steve rubs my back. "I'm sorry, I just don't get to talk about it much. I'll get out of your hair now." I go to stand up when Bruce puts a hand on my shoulder. "If theres anyone who understands, its us. We're not exactly a normal bunch of people. I have a green rage monster that I've only just learnt to control, Tony is slowly dying from shrapnel in his chest, which is being stopped by a pale blue glowy thing, Clint is, well Clint is cool because he can shoot stuff but we ignore him, Natasha went through hell as a kid, Steve was a skinny kid from Brooklyn who was in a lab experiment then frozen in ice for 70 years, and sometimes a demigod visits and eats all the pop tarts. We all are damaged Tilly, we've just adapted to get something good out of it. It takes time, but its possible. Don't give up hope." Bruce spoke with more passion than I've ever heard him speak with, and so I slowly stand and give him a tight hug, whispering a thank you into his ear, which ends up being a big group hug. This is the closest I've come to friends since the experiment, the closest I've come to family.

**-{S}-**

Why do I feel so emotional for this girl? shes been through a lot, I wanna make things right for her. After the group hug, we all settle down for the rest of the film and Tilly snuggles back into my side with her head on my chest. After the film I offer to let her stay over again, which she declines. "at least let me drive you home then" I flash her a grin, pulling my shoes on. 5 minutes later I'm speeding down the road, barely able to concentrate on riding my motorbike due to the surprisingly strong arms wrapped around my waist. I pull up outside her apartment block, surprised at how rough it is. "this is it?" i ask, carefully eyeing the rowdy men outside the building. "yep. wanna come in for a drink?" she offers as she climbs off my bike. I nod and we walk towards the entrance. As we walk past however, a voice appears behind me. "what you doin with a guy like that sweetie? come with us, lets have some fun" a clearly drunk, middle aged man approaches her, the rest of the group follows. Tilly speeds up her walking pace, her eyes trained on the ground. "aw honey don' be like that! you don' mind clearly, you don' look like the kinda guy that would go for a slut like her, too straight lace for that" he grins at me. I stop dead in my path, debating my options. I could punch him and probably go to jail, I could talk back and just end up having an argument where Tilly would get upset, or i could do the OTHER thing. I decide the latter is my best option and do something I've been dying to do.

I kiss her.

**-{T}-**

I'm not even too sure how this happened. One minute the dirtbags are catcalling me, then they turn to Steve. they say some shit about him being straight laced and me being a slut and suddenly I'm being pinned against a wall. Steve's mouth is gentle against mine, my body completely relaxes as he holds me close against him until the men disappear. I smile up at him when he breaks away from the kiss, still supporting my weight to save my ankle. _wow_. He takes my hand silently, leading me inside. we enter my apartment where I sit down on my ratty old couch. "Is this it?" Steve asks, looking round my one room apartment, his eyes lingering on my old broken bed, the cracks in the ceiling. "yeah sorry its not quite the avengers tower" I chuckle awkwardly, not too sure how to act. "Nope, you're not staying here with those dudes outside and a busted ankle. I hate to think of you living here. the place is falling apart Tilly." His eyes are sympathetic and worried, as they continue to dart from the broken furniture to the single padlock on the door. He helps me pack a bag as I am too tired to fight him on this now, and we're back off to the tower.

When we get there, the rest are still sprawled out on the sofa and all look shocked when I limp in. "Hiya guys" I say casually, as Steve charges in, his face filled with anger. "what the hell happened to you?" Tony asks Steve, eyeing up his expression. I feel a slender arm round my waist as Natasha helps me over to the sofa. "stupid fucking idiots in the street. How dare they? god, I hate them. Tilly can't stay there, not there." he shouts, clearly very panicked. "no offense Steve but thats a slight overreaction. Those idiots always catcall me and theres nothing you can do about it anyways." I say, trying to calm him down. He takes a deep breath and sits down next to me. "Im sorry Tilly. I care about you even though we haven't known each other that long and I don't want you near that place. Just stay here for tonight, put my mind at ease?" He begs, worry clear on his face. "yeah ok then, but honestly don't worry too much about be" I smile at him, pulling him in for a hug. We order in a few pizzas and as the night goes on, Steve gets more and more distant, more and more awkward. The space between us feeling eternal in comparison to earlier in the day. He's probably regretting the kiss, those men are right anyway, he is too good for a slut like me. After the pizza, we all go our own separate ways. I excuse myself, mumbling nonsense about needing something from the shop and slip out the door. My legs pull me towards the nearest bar, the neon signs blinding me. I wander in, glancing round the room. I order a beer and place myself in a bar stool, my leather jacket clinging to my arms. I know i shouldn't be here but after this evening with Steve I couldn't help it. I needed the buzz of being drunk, the release of the grimey walls, the addictive guilt. A man slides into the stool next to me. I turn my head to see a man, maybe 5 years older than me, grinning down at me. He says some cheesey pickup line that i don't hear. I down my beer. Grab his hand. Here we go. 

He kisses me, hard, uncaring. Shoving me hard against the brick wall. Pain down my back. I feel his hands under my shirt, my bra gets discarded somewhere. His filthy hands all over my body. Its rough, painful. Just what I needed. Soon the scratch of the bricks against my back becomes erratic. I feel him cum deep inside me, barely even aroused by the whole situation. I fake a moan, he pulls out and we leave. The shame comes much quicker this time, Steve's face flooding my eyes. I curl up against the wall in shame. Who is this person, how did I manage to convince myself I'd be anything but the slut I've always been. 

-{N}-

I'll admit, Tilly's been a while. She disappeared after spouting some crap about a shop, which was 2 hours ago. Steve has been pacing since. "thats it! I don't care what you say anymore Nat, I'm gonna go find her." he storms towards the door until I put a hand against his chest. "no steve. you're in no state to go out like this. I'll find her." I tell him. I think I know just where I'll find her, I just hope I'm wrong.

I take off down the street, keeping my eyes peeled. Steve's been a wreck since this girl showed up, and it's easy to see why. We've all bonded with her quickly, let her into the family, but it's been more than that with Steve. It's been faster, more caring. they're inseparable. I don't know what happened at Tilly's house but something clearly did. The whole night was painful. they avoided all eye contact but stared at eachother longingly while the other wasn't looking. It's so sickly I might just throw up. I round a corner and catch sight on Neon lights. I check down a dark alley and see Tilly. her face is plastered with shame as she gets dressed. A random man chuckes a note at her after he pulls up his pants and she just curls into a ball. I silently sit down next to her, placing my arm round her. She curls into my grasp, placing her head on my shoulder and crying her heart out. This is one broken girl. 


	3. Regret and Destruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm beginning to regret using my real name lol.

**-{S}-** [2 weeks later]

Natasha walks into the communal room, a determined expression on her face. "whats wrong Nat?" i ask her, confused. "we all need to have a meeting. Tilly is asleep so lets do it now." We all sit down on the sofas and look expectantly at Nat. "its about that night." she starts. She never told us what happened that night. She came in with Tilly and they went to bed, Tilly not leaving the spare room for 5 days. Nat insisted we wait, saying that she'll come out when shes ready. one day she finally emerged, and acted absolutely normal with us. It was plain to see she was struggling, she wouldn't let anyone touch her, she couldn't take complements, she became distant. My mind has been creating scenarios since then on what happened, none, i hope, are real.

Nat takes a deep breath before talking. "I don't know about you guys, but to me Tilly is family. I can't take it anymore we have to help her. Tilly was behind a bar when I found her. Her clothes were muddy and torn, and there was a man- he- he threw her a $20 before leaving, grinning. Tilly just cried, saying she fell back into her old habits. She didn't want to talk about it after that. she just blocked it out, pretended all was fine. it isn't. Clint it was like looking into a mirror from when i was her age. we need to do something. We need to help her. her flickering has been getting worse and worse." Nat was almost crying by the end of that, I think we all were. that was nowhere near what I expected, yet it was 10 times worse too. Clint had his arm around her shoulders, I just leave. I can't take this. 

Slowly Tony enters my room, smiling kindly. "hey cap, how you feeling?" he asks, sitting down next to me. Instead of replying I just rest my head on his shoulder. "you properly like her, don't you?" he asks, I just nod. why hide it now? He wraps just his arms around me. I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually Bruce comes to tell us dinner is ready. we all eat in silence. no eye contact. then we all disappear back to our rooms. This went on for 2 days. 2 days of agonizing silence from my family. 2 days of desperation. 2 days, no sleep. no one slept. After dinner one day I decided enough was enough. Gently I knock on Tilly's door, awaiting a reply. she just slowly lets the door fall open before resuming her place on the spare bed. I carefully shut the door behind me. "I'm going tomorrow Steve." she mumbles. " I honestly don't know why I'm still here. My ankles healed, and anyway Thor's gonna come back at some point wanting his room." she gives me a sad smile. I sit down on the end of her bed. "I don't want you to go Tilly. But right now we need to talk about something else. Natasha told us how she found you. I don't even now how to talk to you about this -fuck- I care about you so fucking much Tilly why would you do this?" I ask, on the verge of tears. she stares directly at me before replying "You shouldn't care about me. This isn't a big deal! it's how I live my life. I'm a Fuck up Steve. I drink, sleep with strange men, wake up guilty and go and drink again. It's the only way I can live. the only way I can keep my expectations in check. I got too excited, got too used to the family setting of this place and forget that I'm nothing but a slut for the streets." she basically shouts at me, her words harsh daggers. "Tilly, no. I have no words. why can't you see how much you mean to us? we all love you so-" "YOU SHOULDN'T! WHY DO YOU CARE?? WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME LIKE I DO??" "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THATS WHY" I scream back at her. we sit in silence for what feels like an eternity before I speak up. "I love you Tilly. I love everything about you. I know how soon it is for me to say this but its true." I almost whisper. "You're perfect Tilly. You're amazing" my voice breaks before i can realise I'm crying. I quickly wipe away my tears and finally meet her eyes. she just stares at me in wonder, soft beads falling down her cheeks. Slowly I make my way over to her, pulling her into my arms. we sit there in silence for god knows how long, both of us drinking up the comfort of being in each others arms. "I don't know how to fix myself Steve." she whimpers. "I don't even know if I can be fixed, all I know is I'm broken. I have been for a long time." "We are all going to help Tilly. You're one of us. Let us help you?" I beg, she just nods, snuggling into my chest. 

The next day we wake up in each others arms. we walk downstairs hand in hand. this is amazing. as we reach the communal room though, we get a big shock. Tony Stark surrounded by 6 large advent calendars. "EVERYBODY ITS A WEEK UNTIL CHRISTMAS! COME OPEN 13 DAYS OF YOUR CALENDARS!!!" he screams running in circles. Tilly lets out a small giggle, going up and hugging Tony. she whispers something in his ear and he kisses her cheek before spinning her around. I can't help my eyes darkening slightly in jealousy. Tony notices this and starts laughing his head off. I just roll my eyes and am saved by the others running in. We all open our calendars, each of us having one based on our own merch and Tilly having one with all our merch in it. Suddenly JARVIS's alarm is going off. Fury's voice blasts through his interface. "Avengers, we have a situation. There appears to be an alien in the park down the street from you. suit up." his voice shuts off and we all spring into action.

**-{T}-**

Suddenly, everyone is running around, Tony is shouting orders at everyone and in no time they're out the door. On their way out steve plants a feather light kiss on my cheek and tells me to stay put. no bloody way is that happening. As soon as the team is out the door I rush upstairs. I chuck on a pair of skinny jeans and my leather jacket, I run a brush through my hair and head towards the door. I pull at the handle, yet the door does not come free. "OH COME ON" i yell, kicking the door. "sorry, miss Lynn, but Mr Stark entered the house into a lockdown as they left." I run back to my room and yank my window open. _fine ill do this the hard way then._ I leap from the window, landing directly in a bush. "ow ow ow ow ow why is this bush so fucking spikey!" i yell, breaking free from the bush before taking off running. I reach the park, hiding behind a tree. I catch my breath and look up to see the avengers fighting a hoard of metal clad aliens. there are too many. They seem to handle them fine until Steve gets shot by one. He instantly passed out, lightly smoldering. everything else fades away as I make a sprint for him. the steady rise and fall of his breath is gone, his nonexistent. he's dying. I instantly start CPR, my ears ringing, white spots in my eyes. Tears burndown my cheeks. My arms feel weak. suddenly Bruce is there, pushing my hands out the way and giving me an angry look. he injects something directly into Steve's heart before running off and hulking up again. I resume CPR on him, begging him to return. he needs to return. He can't die on me. He can't. "DAMN YOU STUPID IDIOT COME BACK TO ME GODDAMIT!" I yell, I can't lose him. "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU GO!" I shout again, crying over him. Suddenly he takes a sharp breath, and slowly opens his eyes. I laugh out of hysteria and hold him tight against me. Suddenly, I remember just where I am. I quickly carry him behind the bush I hid behind. I give him a quick kiss on the head before disappearing back into the fight. 

Ok so I'm definitely no fighter. Half the time I'm flickering, flashing like a bright headlight, which I guess did help for a second as it distracted the aliens slightly. I managed to tackle a couple aliens before one had me pinned against a tree with a gun aimed at my head. The avengers were busy, they can't help me now. I shouldn't have come here. The aliens finger teases the trigger and suddenly he shoots. Everything happens in slow motion yet its still to fast to understand. A flash of red white and blue covers my vision. Steve blocks the shot with his shield, crouching down beside me before throwing it at the alien. I feel the side of his body, carefully looking for the wound. "where is it?" I question him. Fast healing and Dr Banner. Still not up to strength yet. why are you here Tilly?" he asks holding me close. "I knew something would happen and it did! you weren't breathing Steve! you'd left me!" I sob into his chest. He holds me close, kissing the top of my head. "it's ok, I'm not gonna leave again." I look up at him, and suddenly he captures me in a kiss. A hot, loving, desperate kiss. His hands cup my face, and he lets go too soon. I look up to see everyone awkwardly lingering. "uh so the aliens are dead. thanks you two, you both almost dying was a big help" Tony rolls his eyes sarcastically, earning a punch from Natasha. A blush creeps onto my face and I help Steve up. Tony wanted to talk to Steve about something so I walked behind them with Bruce, Natasha and Clint. We shared some jokes, none of which I was really focused on. Did Steve really mean it when he said he loved me? I was so deep in thought that I didnt even notice where I was staring. "Tilly, we know Steve has a good ass but please stop staring at it." Natasha loudly teases me, causing Steve to stick his ass out before blowing me a kiss. I laugh and a blush creeps up on my face. "sorry I was just deep in thought." I tell them. "mmhmm deep in thought she says" Clint pokes at my side making me squeal. I glance back at his ass in interest. now i properly look, he does have a good ass. and that suit really isnt leaving much to the imagination. I'll have to thank Tony for that later. Or not. That would deffo be a very odd thing to do.

When we got back, Tony gathered us all round to make an announcement. Steve carefully placed his arm around my shoulders, and then I wrapped mine around his waist. A hologram of Nick Fury popped up out of JARVIS's hub. "hello everyone, great job in the battle today!" we all cheered, the avengers thanking Fury. "as some of you know, I've been in contact with Mr Stark and we've made a decision. we've talked for a long while about the potentialities of the gifts you hold, Tilly, and have decided that, with a bit of training, you'd be a great addition to the group." Fury smiled at me, I just glanced up at Steve, unsure of what he was saying. Tony wandered over and held out his hand to me. "welcome to the avengers, Tilly!" he grins as I take his hand and he spins ma around, pulling me in for a hug. after planting a kiss on my cheek, I get passed around everyone, getting hugs and congratulations until I'm back at Steve, who pulls me in for a long, passionate kiss. we pull away, our foreheads resting on each other. "I love you"


	4. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might start a new one after this one about me and my friend but probably not because im a socially awkward nervous 16 year old

**-{S}-**

"I love you"

_"I love you"_

oh

my

golly

gosh

she

loves

me.

"I love you too" I giggle, Grinning madly at her. I push my lips against hers again, feeling her smile against the kiss. 

After eating a huge dinner -Nat had made a giant pasta bake- Clint offered a movie. Tilly quickly declined, mumbling about finishing a drawing she gave me a subtle wink and a smile. I quickly followed after her, not bothering to give an excuse. "Hey capsicle where you off to then?" Tony shouts from behind me, letting out a small giggle. I turn to throw him a wink before running up the stairs. I'm not gonna do anything tonight, but Tony loves the drama, and I love seeing him beg for details. 

I slip into my room, surprised to find it empty. I definitely misread this situation. I lay down face first on my bed. yeah here was me thinking that wink meant follow me. "goddamnit Steve why do you always make situations so awkward" I mumble, my voice muffled by my pillow. Suddenly there is a weight on my back. "hi there captain" Tilly giggled into my ear. I glanced down to see I still had my captain America outfit on. "hello there Avenger. we need to get you a superhero name" I say as I turn over, sitting up so shes in my lap. I press a soft kiss to her lips. "hmm maybe once I've actually learnt to control my powers" she mumbles into the kiss. "well, T, you've got that and the physical training, don't forget" I laugh as the dramatically falls over, a hand on her forehead. She grins up at me and all of a sudden has me pinned down against the bed. "think I've already got that covered." she grins. I quickly flip us over, making her let out a squeal before pressing my lips to hers. I feel her tongue brush over my bottom lip, making me gasp out of shock. She takes the opportunity to kiss me deeply, our tongues entwining perfectly.

The rest of the night is just playfighting and kisses, before she collapses onto my chest all sleepy. "c'mon you lets get out of this gear before bed" I say glancing down at her skinny jeans. suddenly I feel her hands creep over my chest, unzipping my top. "Steve, I love you. I don't want us to get _that_ physical tonight so tell me when you want me to stop okay?" she asks carefully. "of course only go as far as you're comfortable with, although I don't think it wise for us to do anything much." "I agree" she mumbles into my chest. she pulls off my top, her hands all over my chest. she reaches up to kiss me, deep and tenderly. My hands find their way to the hem of her shirt and gently lift it over her body. my hands rest on her hips, pulling her into the kiss. "I really like this, but I'm absolutely knackered hun." she whispers. "don't worry, I just want us to be comfy to sleep to be honest, dying really takes it out of you" I joke. her hands resume their work on my outfit, until I'm left in my Boxers. I try to peel the jeans off her but end up getting a little stuck. "dear god how tight are these?" I complain, before her hands replace mine and she pulls them off while giggling. "we going all the way?" I ask. "I'm happy to" she replies, grinning up at me. "good" I mutter before reaching around her to unclasp her bra. She makes quick work of my boxers and swiftly slips off her pants before laying down on top of me. "love you" I whisper quietly, not sure if she's still awake. "love you too" she mutters back, before drifting off to sleep.

**-{T}-**

I slowly wake up to the feeling of someone drawing soft lines on my back. They swirl everywhere, not missing a centimeter of skin. I slip my hands up their muscled chest before slowly kissing them. "morning T" Steve mumbles. "morning" I reply, snuggling down, before suddenly realising the friction that causes. I suddenly stop moving, a blush creeping over my cheeks. Steve chuckles, planting a kiss on my forehead. "as much as I'm enjoying this, first day of training. Tony's creating your suit and this morning you have a test to see what level you're at. you'll have combat training with me, gun training with Nat and power control stuff with Banner. sound okay?" I ask "yeah sounds perfect" she smiles, before pulling herself out of bed. 

Training was _hard_. Steve goes full Captain America on me and by the end of the day I'm always left feeling the ache. Natasha can be harsh too, she likes to shoot at me, always narrowly missing me. she calls it training for interrogations, but I'm starting to think shes enjoying it a bit too much. Training with Bruce is going okay, ive managed to stop 2 flicker attacks this week. The good news is, tomorrow is christmas day. Tony has gone so overboard, the whole tower is a big christmas light by now. "Tilly. Steve has asked me to tell you to head down to the training mats for a quick evaluation." JARVIS informs me. "ok thanks J tell him I'll just get changed" I reply, pulling out a pair of leggings and a sports bra. I quickly tie my hair back and slip on my trainers, before making my way town to the mats. "Steve?" I call out into the room. I reach for the light swich, only to me bet by the soft click, no light. I quietly slip into the corner crouching down and letting my eyes adjust to the lack of light. The door slams shut and I hear quiet footsteps. I silently pounce onto Steve's back, avoiding his grasps for me and sweeping my leg under his, causing us to plummet towards the ground. He easily shakes me off, crawling on top of me with a mischievous look. "there wasn't a training session scheduled" I tease him. "thought I'd make a suprise one" He replied, before I grab his wrists, Rolling him over and pinning his hands above his head. I rip off the Captain America helmet and place a kiss on his mouth, before bouncing up, beckoning him forward. He throws a succession of kicks and punches at me, I manage to dodge all but 1 - a kick to the shin, landing me on my knees. I slide between his legs, tripping him over and landing on top of him, giggling. "well we can't be haning you beat me" he mutters before flipping us over and slipping his hands over my stomach. I pull his shirt off him, revealing his muscular chest. He leans down, pressing a desperate kiss to my lips. I flip us over so I'm straddling his hips, never breaking the kiss. I roll my hips down into his, causing him to let out a quiet moan. suddenly the lights flick on and we turn to see Natasha stood by the door. "oh ok then wow was not expecting to ever have to hear Cap moan" she looks away from us. I laugh, pulling Steve up and throwing his top at him. "training time?" I ask Natasha, who shakes her head. "no I was coming to let you know today and tomorrow are free of training. we're gonna watch a film now, feel free to join. see you later" she quickly hurries from the room, causing cap and I to burst into a fit of giggles. "why are you wearing that by the way" I laugh, staring down at Steve's ridiculously tight Captain America outfit. I sneak my hands lower and lower down his body until he gulps. " I dunno, wanted to" He replies, before making his way upstairs to change. I follow him, however before I can go and change, I get dragged into steve's room. "wanna take a shower?" he asks, a cheeky smile on his face.

we step into the bathroom, my hands quickly pulling off his shirt. I strip him of his trousers too, only to find he has no boxers on. I glance up at him with an amused smile, where he shrugs his shoulders "they bunch up under the outfit and look odd" he laughs before pulling off my clothes. we step into the shower, pressed together and kissing. My hand slowly makes it's way down his stomach, before resting over his dick. I grasp hold of it, a tiny gasp falling from his lips as I dig my thumb into the slit. I start slowly moving my hand, making sure to circle his tip whenever I reach it, soaking up every sound falling from his mouth. His hips start thrusting into my hand and when his breaths become shaky, I know he's close. I speed up my actions, tightening my grasp at the top, pressing his body into the tile wall behind him. His thrusts become faster before his cum spills over my hand and he lets out a loud moan. suddenly there's a sharp knock on the door. "cap? can I come join or are we gonna watch this movie?" Tony asks "we'll be down in sec" cap replies, sighing. He pulls me in for a hug "do you want me to help you out?" he whispers in my ear, his hand falling lower and lower down my stomach. "and risk Tony joining? no you go start the film, just let me get changed and I'll be down in a sec. Steve stepped out of the shower after a long kiss and I closed the curtain again to get showered off. anyways, I had a little more to do than to just get changed. Steve opens the door and suddenly screams. I instantly jump out to help him fight, only to see Tony Stark standing there with an amused expression on his face. Steve covers my body as i climb back into the shower and I hear the door slam shut. I let out a small giggle as Steve wraps himself in a towel and walks out of the bathroom. "looking good there Steve! really got the full package huh!" I hear Tony laugh before I hear a thud, and then Tony laughing harder. 

After I've sorted myself out and gotten changed, I walk into the communal room, where the polar express is playing. I snuggle up next to Steve, who gives me a sweet smile before watching the film.

The next day, we all meet downstairs. I cook everyone bacon and egg sandwiches, hoping the scent of cooking bacon will lure everyone down. soon after, everyone is eating their sandwiches and talking animatedly about their plans for the day. Tony pulls out christmas jumpers, one for each of us. Tony's one has a filter to change the light from his arc reactor green and is red with gold lining. Bruce's is bright green with defined muscles on it, which earns Tony a scowl from Bruce. Natasha's is black with tiny pistols all over it, which together form bundles of holly. Clint's is covered in fairy lights and has a christmasy cupid on the front, earning yet another scowl for Tony. Mine is a tight black one, with parts of it that are made to look invisible and Steve's is a slutty captain America crop top with ripped muscles underneath, causing him to do dramatic poses. Slowly, we all made our way to the christmas tree. Natasha crawled under the tree, randomly throwing presents with surprising precision at everyone. half an our later, Tony is playing with the new workshop tools we all pitched in to buy for him, Bruce has his nose buried in a scientiic book that Nat had got him, Clint is messing around with a nerf gun, shooting peoples foreheads, Nat is tying her new combat boots and Steve is helping to secure the charm bracelet to my wrist. Everyone had chipped in to buy me a charm bracelet, everyone adding their own personal charm - a small shield, an arc reactor, an emerald, a small black arrow and black widow spider. Steve had also got me a necklace - a small red heart with a chunk missing. he now has a small blue heart with a chunk missing secured around his neck, they slot together filling both hearts when joined. I'll admit, thats way cooler than the art supplies and drawing of us clinging on to eachother behind his shield that I got him. after we'd finished opening our presents, we decided to go out ice skating. Somehow Tony had set up a private rink in the parking garage and we all burst onto the rink, with varying skill levels. Natasha was gliding round the ice, pulling off ballet poses every now and then whereas Bruce spent half the time on the floor, his skin going slightly green at times. I used to ice skate all the time so im okay at it still, practicing my old jumps before Steve and I created a dance routine. we spent a few hours on the ice before heading inside to cook. we all helped to create a huge roast dinner with all the fixings, while we all sang badly along to christmas songs. After a while we all sat down to eat, the christmas music still blaring in the background. After we were all sufficiently stuffed, we all settled down for another Christmas film. This time it was a soppy romantic one, which ended out with us all acting out different scenes from the film. I had to pretend to slap Clint, which was fun, I'll admit, before he attacked me with tickles. we all snuggled back down again, pulling out the huge fluffy blankets, meaning I ended up with Tony having his arms wrapped around my waist. 

An hour later, we were all upstairs getting ready for the party. It wasn't a proper party, just us avengers but we're going to pretend its a big party, we just didnt feel like being sociable today. I ended up deciding to wear a black fitted skater dress with blue mesh cutouts. I slip on a pair of matching heels and my captain America necklace from my advent calendar and proceed to do my makeup. I decided on dark blue and black, heavy eye makeup and electric blue lipstick. I was ready fairly quickly so went downstairs to help with last minute fixes. the only other person downstairs was Tony, who was wearing a dark red suit and a white shirt, the light from the arc reactor slightly visible. When he sees me, he spins me round before pulling me in to dance. "you, Miss Lynn, look stunning." he says in a posh voice. "why thank you, Mr Stark. you don't look so bad yourself" I giggle. "T, you are literally one of the coolest people I know. You are so much likea sister for me and I love you to bits. I don't know what we did without you before" he laughs spinning me in another circle. "aw Tony, you're like a brother to me too, you all are. you're like the family I never had and I can't thank you enough." I reply, realizing too late what I had just said. "what do you mean, the family you never-" "hiiii guys whats up?" Natasha shouts running in. thank you Nat, for saving me from the wrath of Tony. Tony catches my eye, sending me a look that we'll talk later. welp. Nat's dress is flame red and covered in black vines, which curl all over the dress. Clint and Bruce walk in, each wearing blue suits, however Bruce has a bright pink shirt on, making us laugh. Steve walks in, wearing a black suit, an electric blue shirt peeking out from under his jacket. his hear is perfectly tousled and an infectious grin plastered on his face. He holds out a hand for me which I take with a small giggle, before he pulls me in for a tight hug and a kiss. Suddenly, there is a loud knock at the door, causing us all to jump. Thor bursts in, holding a mysterious looking bottle. "special delivery for one Captain of America?" he declares, holding the bottle out to steve. "this stuff is gonna get you drunk, my friend, but don't let any other mortals try this as it is asgardian." he warns him. "thank you Thor, thats very kind of you. are you off to see Jane?" "yes back over there now." thor declares, then turns to me. "why, hello fair mortal, may I say that love suits you well, your cheeks are very full of colour whenever you see him, much like Jane" He smiles politely at me "thanks, Thor, its a pleasure to meet you. I'm Tilly" I smile back at him. "well I better be off, I look forward to spending time with you again, Miss Tilly." he waves to everyone before spinning his hammer and flying away. "well that was a strange interaction" natasha exclaims after a moment " he's a strange dude" Tony replies, grabbing champagne for everyone. "a toast! to Cap finally getting drunk!" we all laugh and Steve pours a drop of the liquid into his champagne. After a few glasses of that, Steve is clearly not sober. he's not drunk, just happy and giggly, the sort of stage that everyone is at. we all end up sitting at the table, playing silly board games. Steve insists of sitting as close as he can get to me, our hands always linked and occasional kisses. Steve never gets out of control drunk, just tipsy and silly. we play tons of games, including twister which ends badly for Bruce. During a game of monopoly though, I feel a feather light touch on my thigh. I inhale a sharp breath and Steve remains emotionless, but he can't help the twinkle in his eye. As the game progresses, he moves on to massaging my thigh, meaning I kept having to keep playing off any sounds i make as being annoyance from monopoly, His hand continues to slowly snake further and further up my leg, until he reaches my pantline. he stops there and instead moves his hand round, kneading the inside of my thigh, my breath catching in my throat. the night flew by with Steve's hand on my thigh, Tony's witty jokes and being surrounded by my family. Soon Steve and I were up in steve's room, kissing. suddenly he pulls away, getting down on one knee and asks the most Steve Rogersy question ever: "Tilly Lynn, will you do me the great honor, and go out on a date with me?" he asks, grinning up at me.


	5. the new avenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ik im updating v fast I have a concussion so this is literally the only thing im allowed to do but when im back to school it'll be a tad slower with the updates

**-{S}-**

For what feels like an eternity, silence. Her green eyes blank, her dark hair falling over half of her face. Suddenly, her lips are on mine, moving in perfect harmony. The kiss remains closed mouthed, sweet, simple, caring. She looks up at me with a sparkle in her eyes, before her lips form one soft word: "yes!" I capture her lips in another perfect kiss, spinning her around before gently placing her on the bed. Her soft hands snake under my shirt immediately, her fingers ghosting over my back, before she sharply pulls me down so I land directly on top of her with a soft "oof" falling from my lips in surprise. She pulls our foreheads together, gently slipping my jacket from my shoulders and tossing it over a nearby chair. I giggle, the alcohol doubling the joy thats overwhelming my mind. We both slip off our shoes and Tilly begins working on my shirt buttons, slipping my tie from my neck, only for it to join my jacket. My shirt is quick to join them too, floating gently towards the ground. "y'know, you have a lot of training tomorrow" I remind her, pinning her hands over her head and placing a kiss on the tip of her nose as her face falls into a dramatic pout. "fineeee. I'll be good, but we're still sleeping naked" she moans, her fingers slipping under the waistband of my trousers. "wouldn't have it any other way, my love" I grin, flipping us over and keeping my hands on her hips, her dress bunched up under my hands. I gently slip the dress over her head, quickly capturing her back in a kiss. Her eyes rake over my chest as I slip off her bra, followed by her pants. Her fingers move down to make quick work of my trouser buttons before pulling them off, along with my boxers and snuggling down against my chest, placing kisses along my collarbone. I gently reach and pull the duvet over her, before wrapping my arms around her and holding her close. "sleep well, love" I mumble into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, my fingers tracing the snake tattoo across her head as she drifts off. 

**-{T}-**

"C'mon T, time for training!" I hear a way too overenthusiastic voice exclaim "Tillllyyyyyyy" they sing, flipping me over and placing a gentle kiss to my forehead. "no go away" I grumble. Can't say I've ever been a morning person, but Steve's insistence that I wake up at 5 to train is just ridiculous. Suddenly his hands are at my sides tickling me "NO STOP STEVEEEE" I complain, planting a kick in his chest, causing him to fall back. I've definitely noticed that I've gained some strength. I roll out of bed, grabbing a pair of leggings and a sports bra before making my way into the bathroom. I quickly get changed before splashing my face with some cold water and tying my hair up. I brush my teeth and make my way back into what is basically our bedroom, as I've slept in here every night. "ready?" I ask Steve, who is doing a few stretched. "yep, I'll be back in about an hour. see you in a bit" he gives me a quick peck on the lips before taking off running down the stairs. I make my way to the training room, stretching out my muscles before stringing up a punching bag. I soon felt arms around my waist and I quickly swiped my leg under his. With Steve, I've been learning tactical skills and how to fight, which has ended in me being covered in bruises. He makes a grab for my ankle which I use as a boost and wrap my legs around his neck, pulling him towards the ground. He quickly jumps up, and takes a swing towards my face, I dodge his arm, sliding between his legs and kicking him in the back. "you're getting good. I'm not even holding back!" we continue to twirl around the room, our actions speeding up with each second, before, after a blow to the shin, I manage to get Steve pinned down on his stomach, his hands in my grasp and my knees on his back. He lets out a low growl and After a moment, I stand up, pulling him after me. We take a moment to catch our breath before he holds a hand out for a high 5. When my hand reaches his, he uses the opportunity to interlock our fingers, pulling me in for a hug. "ready for some more gun training?" Natasha asks, leaning against the far wall. I nod, grabbing my water bottle and taking a long drink, before giving Steve a quick kiss on the cheek and following Nat to the shooting range we have set up in the garage. 

After half an our of shooting stuff, I take a lunch break, eating some leftovers from dinner last night, before heading over to Bruce's room. "okay T, we've managed to stop these flicker attacks before they've started hundreds of times now, you've even managed to control when one happens, creating one out of thin air. Today we're going to work on controlling hat happens during them, instead of trying to turn it off, I need you to focus on how it feels, and try to hold the invisibility, make it stable." he explains as if its easy. I take a deep breath before focusing and creating an attack. I use this time to feel how being invisible feels, trying to remember it in the best detail I can. After an hour of training, I had managed to hold invisibility for 30 seconds! Pleased with my progress, Bruce let me go early and I headed up for my shower. "Tilly, Tony would like to see you in his lab" JARVIS alerts me. "oh ok is it an emergency or can I grab a shower first?" "Tony says grab your shower then head down." "ok thanks J" I reply, stripping off my sports gear and stepping into the comforting stream of warm water. 

10 minutes later, I'm heading down to Tony's workshop in a pair of jeans and a baggy T-shirt. When I get there, Tony is stood with a big grin on his face. "ok good hi T! Guess what!!" he asks, unable to keep still. He moves to the side, revealing a suit. not just any suit, my suit. "wow" i whisper as my eyes drink in the tight black fabric. It consists of some tight black trousers with a fade to an electric blue at the bottom, and small zips and pockets all the way up, with knife and gun holsters too. This is matched with a tight fitted black jacket, also with pockets and zips. It has long sleeves and at the end of the sleeves there is another fade to electric blue. The jacket has geometric blue lines criss crossing over the back and shoulders, and a black belt is strapped across the front of the outfit, covered with 2 lines of eyelets running the whole length of the belt. There are also a pair of combat boots placed at the bottom on the mannequin, just plain black with electric blue laces. I run my hands over the fabric, admiring the strong yet flexible fabric. "C'mon! try it on!" Tony shouts, shutting the door and turning away from me to give me some privacy. I quickly slip out of my jeans and top, pulling the trousers over my legs and zipping the jacket up. I slip on a pair of black fingerless gloves that I hadn't noticed were there before, and tie the shoes. I stretch out my body, feeling the fitted fabric accommodate my every move flawlessly. "ok then, you can turn around." I say, watching Tony's face light up as he hurries over. "Fits perfectly! how does it feel? anything feel uncomfortable? can you move okay in it?" He questions. I simply shake my head, grinning back at him. "J, call the team in! they need to see this!" Tony tells JARVIS. "yes sir. Looks good on you Tilly." he complements me. "thanks J" I reply, before snapping my head round as I hear the door open. The team walks in, all shooting complements at Tony and I. Tony whispers something to Steve and everyone steps back as Steve approaches me. "Tony wants you to test out fighting in your gear" Steve tells me, forming a defensive position. 

Suddenly, a fist is flying towards my face. I dodge it quickly before climbing on his back. He grabs me, throwing me across the room where I flip over and land on my feet before running at Steve. He simply grabs my shoulders, pulling me in for a kiss. "That outfit is testing my self control" he whispers on my ear, discretely grabbing my ass. I giggle before looking over at Tony. "suits perfect, Tony, thanks" I smile at him. "No problemo kiddo. suits you" he complements me, grinning too. 

That evening, I'm back in my own room, slipping on a smooth red dress with shaking hands. Nat insists that I let her do my makeup and hair. She ends up dong a small plait along the line where my hair stops and dark red and black makeup. She paints my lips a deep red before slipping the avengers bracelet over my wrist and fastening the necklace Steve got me around my neck. "perfect." she stands back, checking me over before nodding approvingly. "thanks Nat" I smile up at her, taking a deep breath. I slip on a pair of heels and give her a shaky hug. "don't be nervous, silly, it's just Steve." she laughs, ushering me out the door. I slowly make my way up to the roof, Nat sending me a wink before shutting the door. I let out a shaky breath, trying (and failing) to get my nerves under control before turning the corner to see Steve in a dashing Black suit. his hair is brushed neatly to the side, his eyes brightly shining and behind him sits a Table covered in a white table cloth. on top of the table is a candle, and out the corner of my eye, I see Tony grinning at us. "well this is nice." I grin, walking up to Steve, taking his hands in mine.

**-{S}-**

My hands shake as Tilly grabs them gently, and my worries float away at the contact. I pull her in for a feather light kiss "You look stunning, love" I smile down at her, a blush rising up her cheeks. "you don't look so bad yourself" she replies. I chuckle at the cheesy response, pulling out the flowers I had gotten her. "wow they're really pretty thanks" she says, leaning up for another kiss. Tony walks up and quietly places a glass vase on the table. "thanks Tony" Tilly smiled, placing the roses in the vase. We sit down and time seems to fly. Tony brings us refills on our drinks, and then produces the meal I had cooked earlier, planting a kiss on Tilly's head. "you cooked this?" she asks, looking up at me. I smile down at the lasagna, before gently nodding, my face feeling a little hot. "I love you so much, Steve" she next to whispers, grabbing my free hand and interlocking our fingers. I let my thumb rub gentle circles on the back of her hand. "I love you too, more than you could know" I reply, before continuing our meal. We ended up talking late into the night, her laughs infectious. When the laughs turned into yawns, I scooped her up and carried her back inside. She giggled the whole time, her arms thrown around my neck, planting soft kisses on my jaw and neck. I placed her down on our bed, pulling off her clothes before stripping mine off too. I pull the duvet over us, my hands exploring her new muscles, admiring the definition in her arms, spying the slight six pack now visible on her stomach. "you've gotten really strong quite quick." I say, a tad surprised at the muscle on her. "well my trainer works me really hard" she teases, poking at my sides. "well I've got a surprise for tomorrows training session. I've cancelled your sessions with Nat and Bruce too so we can snuggle up after if you want" I tell her, she snuggles closer to my chest, a small smile on her face as she gently drifts off to sleep. 

**-{T}-**

"Miss Tilly, you are wanted in the training room" I wake up to Jarvis's bright voice. "ok J. I'll be there in a minute." I sigh, pulling myself out of bed. I walk over to the cupboard, pulling the door open, then closing it again when I notice a flash of yellow. I pull the sticky note of the door:

_Tilly,_

_Today is slightly different, make sure to wear your new gear! meet me in the training room ASAP._

_-Steve ❤_

I sigh, pulling out my new avengers outfit, before quickly slipping it on, and making my way downstairs. "hello? where the hell is everybody?" I think out loud as I walk through the communal area. I jog down the stairs, pulling the door open to the dark training area. I reach for the light switch, only for it to click. "oh of course. This again. great." I mumble, shutting the door and getting into a defensive pose, waiting for Steve to attack. After a minute, a small light appears. I glance up, confused, realizing what it is a second too late. A metal hand strikes my side, sending me flying across the room. I manage to land on my feet, glancing round the room and spying the ring of light from Tony's suit. I run towards it, sliding between his legs at the last second and dealing a blow to the back of his head. The light disappears and I quickly stand up. Suddenly, the lights switch on and I'm blinded. I blink the lights from my eyes, only to see Iron man, Black widow, Captain America and Hawkeye all surrounding me in a circle. "at least Banner isn't here I guess" I mumble, and they all start running. I quickly focus, willing my body to turn invisible, and laughing at the confused sounds when I manage it. I Steal Clint's bow and knock his legs from under him as I lose control, flickering back and knocking him in the head with his bow. Steve runs at me and I just manage to dodge him, sending a kick into Tony's chest at the same time. I feel pain spread across my back as Nat lands a punch on my shoulder. I dodge her, knocking her legs from below her and darting towards Steve, only to get knocked down again by Tony. Time seems to slow down as aa bullet whizzes past my head, before bouncing off the wall behind me. at least they're plastic pellets. I look around to find the source, only to see Nat, a pistol in each hand. She shoots bullet after bullet as I jump into action. I twirl and duck, trying to make my moves unpredictable. the shots stop and I turn to smile at a mildly impressed looking Nat before throwing a punch behind me, hitting tony. I have to say, him being in his suit makes him basically unharmable with just fists, so instead I focus on dodging him. Steve runs at me, blocking a punch with his sheild before chucking it at me. I manage to dodge it, ducking a punch from Tony in the process. I look over to see Clint sat against the wall, and gathered that once I had them down, they were going to stay down for me. with this is mind, I send a kick into Nat's back before knocking her feet from under her, easily getting her down before grabbing her pistols and firing the plastic bullets, one gun pointed at Steve, the other at Tony. Steve blocks all his with his shield and Tony just took no notice of the small plactic bullets. I run at steve, going for his legs which just ends up with me haveing a firm hand around my ankle. I look up to Tony, who has his hand outsetretched towards me, and Steve holds me down.

"well that went way better than I expected" Clint observed, grinning. "I wasn't expecting her to get 1 of us down, let alone 2!" he continued. "well it was you and Romanoff. you are the weakest links" Tony mocks, a fake thoughtful expression on his face. Steve held a hand out to me after pulling himself up, pulling me after him and wrapping me in a hug. "I think this qualifies as an Avenger" he says, the smile clear in his voice. "yeah you've got that disappearing stuff sorted. well done with all that" Nat says, holding her hand out for a high five. "now just for a cool name. the disappearer? smoke?" Tony throws ideas at me and after a while, I causiously say the name I've had for a while "Ghost?" I get a lot of approving looks, Tony looking a little sore that he didn't think of it first. 


	6. the demons you left behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me :) (feat. my own emo poetry)

**-{T}-**

Steve is avoiding me. Its hard to see, he still sleeps with me in bed, still wraps his arm around my shoulders, but he is sad in my company. he talks less around me, he doesn't I've me sweet little kisses for no reason, he even tenses when I touch him. I've been patient. Our training sessions have become less frequent, he's just being all around awkward. He has even started turning away from me before falling asleep.

**-{S}-**

I know I'm hurting her. I can see that I am. I'm just not right for her. I mean yeah, we work well together, yeah, I love her more than anything else on this earth, but I'm still not right for her. She's an Avenger now. She shouldn't feel bogged down by me! She needs to be out there, exploring, meeting new people. She's still young. This is right for her. As much as it hurts me, It needs to happen.

"Ok dude, what the hell?" Tony asks, storming into my room one day. I glance up at him, an annoyed look plastered on his face. "what are you doing? you two are so good together? don't you like her anymore?" his face falls. "Of course, I love her more than anything Tony. But I'm not good for her. She should be with someone good, or be out living her life, not bogged down with me" I say, my head in my hands. "you know that's complete and utter bullshit. You have to. Stop being a fool Steve before you rip her apart." he bites back, storming out the room. I rub my hand over my face, unsure of my next move. Why doesn't he understand? 

A few minutes later, Tilly enters. She crawls into bed, sending me a sad look before rolling over and falling gently asleep. I sigh, pulling my old duffel from under the bed. I pack a few things, a couple pairs of jeans and a few shirts, before placing a lingering, desperate kiss against Tilly's forehead. A wet tear rolls down my cheek, landing on the pillow next to her. "This is right." I mumble, reassuring myself. "this is right, but why does it feel so hard?" I ask, desperate to just crawl into bed, holding her close. But I can't. "Live your life. Forget me. I'll miss you, Love" I whisper, before placing a final kiss upon her cheek. The tears come think and fast now. I leave the room, closing the door softly behind me. I step out into the cool January air, feeling the cold nip at my cheeks as I speed down the road, away from my home, away from my life.

**-{T}-**

I slowly wake up, feeling off. "somethings wrong..." I mumble, sitting up. Something cold crumples under my hand, and I glance down to see a note, written scruffily and tear soaked, making the ink run down the paper. 

_Tilly,_

_I hope you understand, I have to go. you have to live your life, unbound by some stupid childhood crush. you need to move on. I've known this for a while now, and I think you have too. We weren't meant to work out. I'm leaving this for you, but please do move on. One day, please get rid of them, for me._

_I leave with you my heart, my life. Take care of it for me._

_\- Steve Rogers x_

I grasp the dogtags he left for me with all my strength, the small shield pendant that is attached clinking against the metal. My cheeks are soaked in an instant, and suddenly a pair of arms surround me. The arms feel wrong, alien. I melt into Tony's chest, the cool metal of the arc reactor against my cheek, as I cry my life out. 

**-{Tony}-**

I wake to the sound of an engine. A motorbike, to be exact. "Tilly, what are you up to" I mumble, rushing to the window to see a blur of short blonde hair speeding off into the morning light. " _Steve?"_ I question. I can't say I was expecting that one. maybe he's getting something from the shop? I walk downstairs, flicking the lights on in my workshop, only for my eyes to land on a pile of red, white and blue. "nonono Steve what have you done?" I shout grabbing the little note placed on top of the pile.

_Tony, my friend, my brother._

_I believe this belongs to you. I have no use for it anymore - I don't deserve it anyways. This hurts. I'll admit. Say sorry to the team for me, I'll miss them all, but I couldn't stay. I'm a wreck, Tony. I'm not bringing her down with me. Look after for me, will you? make sure she stays safe._

_I'll miss you, Shellhead._

_-Steve Rogers_

"oh Steve you absolute idiot I can't believe you." I sob, picking up the spangly Captain America outfit and shield. as I attach the outfit to a Mannequin, placing it in the storage cupboard with all my Iron men, I hear a soft sob. "Tilly..." I mumble, taking off towards the stairs. I enter Steve's room to a mess. Tilly is sat in the center of his bed, her body curled up on itself, crying her eyes out. I instantly sink down onto the bed, gently pulling her into my arms. I have no clue how long she cries, could be 10 minutes could be 10 hours. All of a sudden, she wipes her eyes and stands up, her legs wobbling under herself. Avoiding all eye contact, she quietly leaves, slipping into her room and locking her door.

**-{S}-**

numbness. all I feel is numb as I walk through the airport, pulling my hood over my head and booking my motorbike into holding. No way i'm leaving that behind. "where are you off to" A cheery voice asks, I look up to see a smiley woman staring expectantly at me. "Brooklyn." I reply, my voice breaking slightly. "your girlfriend flying with you today sir?" she asks with a wink. "no, just me" I reply, my words catching in my throat again. 

I plant myself in the uncomfortable airplane seat, the person next to me turning to face me. "hiya. you off home too?" they ask, a strong Brooklyn accent coming through. "No. I'm not." I reply, a soft tear falling down my face as I turn to face the window, watching New York float away.

**-{Tony}-**

"he just left?" Clint asks, not quite believing what he's hearing. I give him a quick nod, Nat handing the note back to me. "what bullshit. _I don't want to drag her down?_ he's the best thing that ever happened to the girl and he knows it." Nat exclaimed, her hands balled into fists. 

Later that day, I try for the 3rd day to get Tilly to eat. She refuses once again, so I sigh, placing down her water jug. Every now and again, she'll leave it outside, a small note asking for some more water. thats the only contact we have with her, she just hides in her room all day. I have no clue what to do.

I hear soft footsteps plodding down the stairs one night, then some rustling in the kitchen. she does this sometimes, We'll come down in the morning to a small note saying that she made herself a toastie, next to the money for the ingredients. Tonight I refuse to let her slip away. "Tilly." I say softly, slipping into the kitchen. "Tilly, its been 2 weeks. we miss you, please come back. our family doesn't feel complete without you!" I plead, a small tear on her cheek. "It'll never feel like a family without him. I'm just baggage." she replies, her voice hoarse. She slips outside after that, and I glance out to see her peering through her telescope. I sigh, heading back up to my room.

**-{T}-**

My life is meaningless. he wants me to get on with my life? is he kidding me? what a joke. He could have just said 'I don't like you anymore'. at least that would be easier to deal with. I've delved myself back into my work, the flicker attacks coming back every now and again, along with panic attacks. I don't know how long I can take this. I can see the pain I'm causing the team, I just can't deal with that right now. They remind me of him too much. I've taken to writing soppy poetry to try and get some of the emotions to go the fuck away, all about love and grossness like that.

I sit down at my desk, pulling my notebook and a pen out. 

_ Supernova _

~~_The pitch black dark of space_ ~~ _The dark of space surrounds me_

_~~t~~ he odd star shining out_

_Alone but never lonely, I wander._

_I never saw you coming_

_never saw the light you shone_

_but the day you're due to ~~run~~ rush in_

_grows closer day by day._

_Bright lights light up the ~~universe~~ galaxy_

_no corner left untouched_

_your colours blind all I see_

_cloud my judgement, magnificent light._

_But all too soon you steal the sun_

_your light has shone_

_your time is done._

_~~your light~~ my energy drained, leaving me empty_

_I'm not the same, left orbiting empty, warped space-time._

_The dark of space surrounds me_

_not a sound to reach my ears_

_the light you once stole still blinding me_

_not a star, not a spark to see here._

I let out a sharp breath I wasn't even aware I was holding, glancing down at the scribbles on the page. I close my notepad, ugly tears hitting the leather cover. I curl up on my bed, my mind blank, tears softly flowing down my cheeks.

**-{Tony}-**

"Sir, there appears to be a hoard of, well I'm not really to sure but they aren't friendly. there is a jet waiting outside." JARVIS Informs us, as we all quickly suit up. We arrive in a matter of minutes, and I instantly spy these horrific looking creatures. I can't even describe them - just horrific looking. "wow. what a pretty dude" I joke, earning a couple half hearted chuckles. I'll admit, spirits have been low without Tilly and Cap. we begin fighting, and it soon becomes clear how massively outnumbered we are. "uh Tony? This is becoming a problem." Clint says, a worried look on his face as he shoots arrows like mad. "I know. Just do your best. I'm not too sure what else I can say." I admit, blasting aliens. Suddenly they all turn around. we all form a circle, trying to find what distracted them. then I see it. A small flash of black and blue. "Its Tilly" I mumble, shocked. "what?" Nat replies. An alien thingy lands at my feet, It's throat ripped out. "well thats morbid." I say and continue to fight. The fight tilts in our favor again with the help of Tilly, and we finally get the threat neutralized. I glance at Tilly, who appears to be nursing a roughed up arm. She glances at us, turning invisible instantly. 

**-{T}-**

The second they leave I knew I couldn't let them fight on their own. I hurry after them, clinging onto the wing of their jet. At some point, the wind gets too strong and I'm thrown off the jet. Great. I feel a sharp crunch in my as I fall, instantly pulling in to my chest. "shit shit shit wow that hurts" I mutter under my breath, before heading off running after the jet. By the time I get to the fight, They're severely losing. The hulk is being pinned down by 3 screaming aliens and Clint only has 4 arrows left. I run in, flickering on and off my invisibility to distract them long enough to force the scales to tip in the Avengers direction. I soon jump into the fight, dodging shots and throwing punches, and we have them sorted in no time. I flop onto the grass, nursing my arm against my chest. I look up to see them all staring at me so decide to turn my invisibility on. I do manage to slip into the jet this time, quietly sitting down on the floor against the wall.

The second we're home, I run to my room, flopping down on my bed. I sit up as my door opens. "I thought I locked that?" I ask Bruce as he strolls in, carrying a box. "we have a spare key" He declares softly, setting himself down on the edge of my bed. "let me sort out your arm? that doesn't look too good." he observes. I gently slip off my jacket, leaving me in just my bra, and letting Bruce gently grab my arm, shifting closer to me. "Bruce?" I ask, my voice breaking. he looks up at me softly smiling. "I'm sorry. I just don't know how to deal with this." I admit, watching the hurt on his face. "that's the point, you see. you can't deal with it alone. We're all here for you, Tilly. we always will be. Come back to us. let us help." he begs, I just simply hang my head, playing with the dogtags and my necklace. "again, I don't know how." I reply. he finishes putting the brace on my arm, chucking a soft pullover at me. "how about you come with me? we are all going to watch a film" I nod carefully, standing up and taking his hand in mine. He leads me downstairs, giving everyone a look before sinking down into the sofa. I sit at the end of the sofa, far from the others, my legs curled into my chest as I take a breath. 

I feel a thin pair of arms weave around my back, pulling me in for a warm hug. I lean in to Clint silently, enjoying his company. The film ends and I feel calloused hands wipe tears from my cheeks I didn't even realize were there. I glanced up to meet Tony's eyes as he silently pulls me in for a hug, which everyone joins. "we are gonna help you. you should have come and got us sooner." he scolds me softly. "I missed you lot, I just didn't know how to talk to you" I admit, my words muffled by his shirt. "who said you'd need to talk to us?" he replies, his hand gently holding my face. suddenly, his phone starts buzzing. "one sec" he sighs, pulling away from the hug. 

"hello?" Tony starts. "Wait what? where are you?" "yeah she's fine physically. she has a fractured arm though. when are you coming back?" "WHY THE HELL NOT? DO YOU KNOW THE MESS YOU'VE LEFT?" "you can't possibly think that! nothings the same without you!" "just come home, Steve" he shuts off his phone, tears gently pouring down his face. "yeah that was Steve. he was just checking up on us after today." Tony said moving back over to rejoin the group hug. 


	7. The comfort of family

**-{S}-**

I settle down into my bed after my phone call with Tony. She's okay. I'd watched the fight on the TV, watched her appearing and disappearing, cradling her arm against her chest. I have to say, it hurt to see her. I know I'm being dramatic about it - I was the one who left, after all. I slip under the duvet, tugging my knees into my chest and falling into a restless sleep. 

I awake in the early hours of the morning, my head pounding and my throat sore. I chug down a glass of water, pulling out my sketchpad and letting my hands lose over the page, covering it in swirls of grey graphite. I glance down at the finished product, a screenshot of christmas, all of us wrapped in our jumpers, smiling. I sigh, letting my book fall shut. what's the point in moping? I need to get back to my old life. so with a fresh mindset, I head down to the nearest gym, and spend the day sweating out my memories.

**-{T}-**

After that night, the team accepted me back with open arms, everyone trying their bests to raise my spirits. I smile along with all their jokes, but they always seem to notice how the smiles never reach my eyes. I'm sleeping more now, although that isn't exactly the best thing. I wake up suddenly with a start, my shirt soaked through, my heart beating out of my chest. Tony silently slips into my room, his lips on my cheek, his hands peeling the sodden shirt from my body. He ends up in my bed a lot, him always waking to my screams, yet tonight is different. I instantly smell the alcohol on his breath. "yknow, I wish I'd got to you first. You're amazing, T, you don't deserve some idiot who runs away when shit gets serious." he breathes against my neck. "Tony.. you're drunk. please. don't do something you'll regret." I warn him. "I don't plan to make a move on you. I love you like a sister, and your heart is already captured. I just wanted you to know. you deserve better." He places a calming kiss upon my forehead, us both drifting off.

The next morning, I wake to the smell of cooking bacon. I make my way downstairs sleepily, regretting that decision when I see Tony stood at the stove, placing slices of bacon onto plates next to pancakes. Does he even remember last night?

"T... I'm so so sorry." he says, turning around to face me, His face flooded with regret. "please know that I love you as a sister. nothing more. I did have a small crush on you, however that dissipated when I realized how perfect you and Steve are together. I hate him for hurting you." He walks quickly towards me, pulling me into a soft hug before presenting a plate of my favorite breakfast. "okay.. you're forgiven." I say, grinning up at him. I know he didn't mean it, he always says stupid stuff in his drunken states. I don't doubt that he felt something towards me, I wasn't exactly wearing modest clothes the night we met and he certainly wasn't sober. The thought of that night brings memories to my head, the rush and the thrill. I swallow down my breakfast, pushing the memories from my mind. I'm not falling back into that. I'm not.

I take a relaxing shower, before making my way downstairs, to find Nat and Clint, snuggled up watching a movie. "mind if I join?" I ask, making my way towards them. "sure" Clint replies quietly, signaling to be quiet. I look down to see Nat fast asleep against his chest. I grin, carefully sinking down into the sofa. 

Bruce and I ended up making dinner together. we made a big risotto, Bruce having to take a time out because he had almost hulked up due to him accidently grating his finger while attempting to grate the cheese. There was a light buzz of chatter over dinner, enough for me to not have to participate too much. I quickly ate, cleaning up before slipping on a skirt and tight top. I know it's wrong. but who is there to care?

I hop on my bike, soaring down the road to the pub. 

2 more weeks pass, my visits to the bars becoming more and more regular. I fear the team is beginning to grow suspicious, beginning to notice my lame excuses, my searing headaches each morning. maybe the most prominent thing: me stumbling through the door late at night, off my face, without my necklace or dogtags. I managed to escape notice for about a week, until Tony became suspicious and began waiting up for me. The first night he had just watched silently as I stumbled to bed, a shocked look on his face. Now every night, he is sat on the sofa, waiting. after a few nights, I've began sneaking back in through my window, only to find him asleep on the sofa in the morning. I'll give it to him, he's stubborn. 

Tonight, after eating a delicious tray bake made by Nat, I head up to my room, slipping on a small black dress and placing my necklaces on my desk. I carefully sneak downstairs. I manage to make it outside, only to notice a figure leaning up against my motorbike. "Tony." I greet him, crossing my arms. "T, I've been pretending to not notice you sneaking off every night, I thought maybe this was you healing. This needs to stop! I don't know where you go or what you do, but you don't exactly have a great reputation with this stuff!" he pushes away from my bike, making his way towards me. I take that opportunity to climb onto my bike. "please. stay tonight." he pleads, his hand over mine. "goodnight, Tony" I mumble, kicking my bike to life before speeding down the street. 

I get to the bar and follow my normal routine. Get myself a drink, chug it down, some randomer buys me a second, we end up either out back or in the toilets. Today, its anther out the back one, his hands over my boobs, my dress bunched up. I fake a moan as he unfastens his trousers. he rips off my dress, and my bra is soon to follow it. "hang on. I don't know if I want this tonight." I say, something feeling off. "'course you do, honey!" he exclaims, his hands on my body. "you always do." he growls in my ear. "not today I don't." I retaliate, pushing him back, he returns and I feel a cold blade against my stomach. I let out a light scream as he grabs my fractured wrist, holding it against the wall. He snaps my head back against the brick wall, my eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy. "you wanna try that again, sweetie?" he asks his eyes darkened. I gulp down the thickness in my throat, my mind working 100 miles per hour to find an exit where I don't get stabbed. It comes up empty. Its not like I've never done this before, anyway. "sorry" I mumble, forcing my shaky hands to settle at the top of his jeans. "good girl" he growls. I squeeze my eyes shut, letting myself go back to the old slut I have been working my way towards these last weeks. the one I've always been. A small tear escapes my eye as I let myself go. Suddenly, the sharp cold of the metal vanishes, the rough skin of the man too, only to be replaced with a warm, soft fabric. I open my eyes carefully to see the man on the floor, his knife laying out of his reach. A pair of strong arms lift me as my eyes finally fall shut.

I wake to a soft blanket, coupled with gentle murmuring from downstairs. I open my eyes, glancing round my room. _well how did I get here, then?_ The last think I remember is the man, the rest morphing into a blur. I hear a shout from downstairs, clearly someone is having an argument. I slip out of bed, pulling on a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie, holding the necklace and dogtags gently in my hands for a moment before slipping them over my head, the guilt from the bar rushing through my brain. Its good, I deserve it. I quietly make my way downstairs, and Tony snaps his head sideways, his expression softening. "Tilly..." he rushes over, his arms around my body. my eyes slip shut as I melt into his embrace. "are you okay?" he asks, pulling back to show the worried look on his face. "ye-yeah I'm fine. a little confused at what happened last night though" I reply, rubbing my forehead as a sharp headache rips through my head. "really? you don't remember anything?" he asks, looking concerned. I remember where I was, then my-uh-company had a knife against my stomach and my bad wrist pinned up, then he smashed my head into a wall. don't really remember much else" I tell him, being as vague as possible. "oh thats not good, better get Banner to check you over in a bit. First, you need to talk to someone." He tells me, before heading back to his room.

**-{S}-**

I don't know why I felt the urge to go back to New York, to walk down that one street, but I'm sure glad I did. I turned a corner to see Tilly pinned against a wall, stark naked, with a man holding a knife to her. I didn't think, just dove at the man. I quickly picked up her frail body, surprised at the weight she had lost, covering her with my jacket before taking off down the street, back to the tower.

Now here I sit, on the sofa, listening to Tony and Tilly speak. quickly, Tony leaves, telling her she has someone to talk to. she rounds the corner, her face lighting up before shutting down completely, her face going hard, pushing out all emotions. She looks rough, I didn't get a good look of her last night. Dark bags line her eyes, her skin looking sickly and pale, her body skinnier than its ever been. She carefully makes her way over, crossing her arms and staring at me expectantly. "I'm sorry. I should never have left you. I thought I was doing what was right for you, but now I see I only made things worse." I say standing up. "well you did leave. Its fine, I moved on. I don't need you Steve Rogers, I never have. You left me. don't play off that you did that for anyone but yourself." she says, remaining surprisingly calm. she turns, making her way downstairs. I sigh, sinking down into the chair. Tony gave me my room back, telling me to stay at least a few nights. stupidly, I agreed.

**-{T}-**

I walk away from him, heading towards the gym. as soon as I'm out of his sights, I let the tears trickle silently down my face for the man I love. I walk over to the punching bag, sending kick after punch at it, using all my force. Finally, I sent one last swing towards the bag, using all my emotions to power it, but only noticed a second too late I'd used the wrong arm. "SHIT" I screamed as agony rippled through my arm. I fell, surprised I didn't pass out from the pain as I saw everyone rush in. Hands were over me in an instant, one pair gently coercing my bones back in line, talking gently about a 3 way break, one calloused, unsure of what to do yet desperate to help, and a third, by far the most prominent and running slightly hotter than the others, carefully lifting my shoulders and placing them back down to rest on something far more comfortable. I relax, letting the voices fade away, barely acknowledging the searing pain in my arm, instead choosing to focus on the soft, warm pillow and the gentle fingers running through my hair, relaxing every muscle in my body. I let my eyes reopen as the voices resurface, to hear Bruce telling me I'm all sorted. He sends me a smile, standing up and packing up his gear. I glance down at my arm, seeing it wrapped in a black cast. I let it flop back down, rolling my eyes. _no way I can fit that through my sleeve in my suit_ I think, before looking up at Tony who leans down to capture me in a tight hug. "be careful, please T." he mumbles, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I sit up slowly, with the help of the third pair of hands. "not that its any of my business, but Tony is a good man. I'm glad you could move on with him" I look up at Steve, a sad expression on his face. "what? Tony and I aren't together!" I laugh. "god, the guys like my brother" I say, smiling slightly as the sadness washes away from he face. "how long are you going to stay?" I ask him in a gentler voice. "uh- Tony wants me to stay for good, but I'll probably be off in a couple of days." he replies. "oh ok then. Its nice to see you, anyways. how have you been?" I ask, masking my disappointment. "yeah ok, a little better than you by the looks of things" he chuckles, and then his face turns serious. "why would you fall back into that, Tilly?" he asks, his face distorting in pain. " I- I don't know. It helps I guess" I reply, my eyes suddenly very interested in the ground. Steve, unsure of what to say, gets up and leaves. I slowly peel myself off the ground, before heading upstairs for a shower. 

I step carefully out the bathroom, surprised to see Nat sitting on my bed. "he really missed you, by the way" she says, standing up and making her way towards me. "I don't care. I've moved on." I snap back, sinking down into my bed. "yeah I heard. sounds like a real charmer by the way, holding you against a wall with a knife" she sasses back "I can see you still love him. Maybe consider giving him a second chance?" she says looking up at me. "he doesn't want one. If he loved me, he wouldn't have left." Nat rolls her eyes, before holding out a dress to me. "get changed, Tony is throwing a party tonight, just the six of us. I'm heading down soon to help decorate, we could always use an extra hand." she smiles, her eyes landing on my bulky cast. "well, an extra hand I guess in your case." she grins leaving the room. I sigh, looking down at the dress. It has modest, long sleeves but a plunge neckline. It is plain black, but in the light you can see a red tinge to the black. I slip the dress over my head, smiling when it fits perfectly. I do some basic makeup, before slipping on my necklaces, discretely tucking them into my dress and grabbing my bracelet after struggling with it for 10 minutes. "hey Nat? mind giving me a hand?" I shout as I walk down the stairs. After she had secured it around my wrist, I see Steve out the corner of my eye, looking dashing as always in his Suit. "perhaps you should go talk to him" Nat urges, smiling in encouragement.

"Steve, mind if we have a chat?" I ask, taking a deep breath. "look. You mean a lot to me still, I don't think that came across earlier. Thank you so much for helping me out last night." I thank him. "no problem. You mean a lot to me too, I've missed you like hell T" he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "Okay, I have an idea. how about, for tonight, we pretend to be strangers again. lets just see where we go tonight, and have another talk tomorrow" I suggest. "yeah i- I'd like that." he replies smiling at me. "Hi, my names Steve Rogers" "Tilly Lynn" I smile up at him and we shake hands. Maybe there is something to salvage here.


	8. starting anew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, still regretting using my own name. Why did I think, at any point, that this would be a good idea? XD kinda short but a little drama

**-{T}-**

"so, Steve, what is a boy like you doing at a party like this?" I ask, a smirk on my face. He instantly smiles. "Left something behind when I left" He meets my eyes, taking a sip of his Asgardian drink. I blush, dropping my gaze to the floor. 

"PARTYY PEOPLE!" Tony shouts, running into the room, planting a kiss on everyone's cheeks, excitedly. "So, Stevie, How've you been?" he asks loudly, grinning at Steve. "How is it you're already drunk?" Steve laughs, spinning Tony in a circle. "great skill, my friend." Tony replies. "C'mon, lets all actually enjoy ourselves" He moans, music suddenly blasting through the speakers. I quickly down my drink, the sudden hum hitting me hard, before stumbling into the center of the room after Tony, where he had made a makeshift dance floor. We all dance together, everyone passing from person to person, before I'm pulled into a pair of familiar arms. Steve holds me close as we sway to the music. "I think, in this current scenario, we can skip the small talk. It's not like we don't know the answers anyway" He mumbles into my ear, the Asgardian drink clearly making him more confident. He hands me a glass full of a clear liquid, which I sip, scrunching my nose up. "jeez, is this pure vodka or something?" I ask with a laugh. "no its Gin and lemonade, but as I'm not exactly affected by your general alcohol, maybe I overdid the gin" he laughs, leading me over to the sofa. "How's your invisibility thing coming along?" he asks after a moment, his eyes boring into mine. I give him a smirk before going invisible and slipping off the sofa. I watch him for a minute as he reaches around where I was sitting, trying to find me. "wait what?" he asks, confusion evident on his face. "whats up, Capsicle?" Tony asks, wrapping his arms around Steve's neck. "have you seen Tilly?" he asks, turning to face Tony. "whatdya mean?"Tony asks, pulling an innocent face. "she disappeared a moment ago..." Steve answers, his voice fading off. I slowly sit down, making myself visible again. "uh Steve, shes literally right next to you" Tony laughs, still holding the innocent face. "no she isn't!" Steve replies, turning sideways and glancing at me. I shoot him a small wave. "wha- thats really not funny" Steve scowls at Tony as rolls around laughing is head off. I let out a soft laugh, Steve slipping his hand in mine and pulling me back up. "C'mon, lets dance" He says, pulling me along. Steve holds me close again. "I guess that means it's going well?" he chuckles, spinning me around. "yep, can hold it for 10 minutes so far!" I grin, relaxing back into his arms. "hows your wrist feeling?" he asks, his hand making its way to my waist, which should have made me blush, but these drinks are really working wonders with my self confidence. "yeah, its okay." I pull a smile, hiding the fact that its actually in quite a bit of pain. I haven't exactly been going easy on it. Wordlessly, Steve drags me to the kitchen, pouring me another drink and grabbing 2 pills. He hands them to me, sitting down at the table. "how about we give the dancing a rest for a bit, then?" he asks, smiling at me.

We stay like that for an hour, Steve progressively getting less and less shy, letting his hand brush my cheek, and even placing a soft, innocent kiss against my forehead. I know I should be mad at him, this is all probably just some messed up game anyway, but I can't seem to find it in myself to care. Maybe its the warm, familiar touches, maybe its the romance of the whole situation, him coming back and all. "I should have never left you" He admits quietly, a frown forming on his lips. "no, you shouldn't have. I missed you like hell, Steve" I reply, a bite in my tone. He places his hands on my back, pulling me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry" he whispers, his words catching in his throat. I instantly melt into his warm, comforting arms and suddenly realize, there's no getting over Steve Rogers.

**-{S}-**

Tilly looks drop dead gorgeous. I don't know if it's the alcohol, seeing her for the first time in a while, or the way the dress clings to her just right, making her look perfectly elegant, but she looks amazing. At the start of the night, she was very tense, all barriers up, completely shutting me out. As the night progressed, however, she became a lot more relaxed, even flirting a bit. It's given me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can save our relationship, Fix what I have broken. 

I can't help but let my hands trail over her smooth cheeks, watching her blush rise over her cheeks as I press a kiss against her forehead. The party draws to a close, Tony pulling out 'the nightmare before christmas' and we all squash on the sofa, blankets everywhere and our jackets and shoes carpeting the floor. We all fall back into our usual roles, My arm over the back of the sofa, Tony stretched out, covering as many people as possible, Bruce on the floor next to Nat's legs Everything is as if I'd never left, but there's no denying I had. Its obvious in the small gap between my thigh and Tilly's curled up legs, in the small glances I keep getting from the team, as if they're making sure I'm still here. Tilly carefully drifts off, and I can't help the sad look when she leans in the oppersite direction, her head landing on Nat's shoulders, instead of mine. I sigh, letting my hand fall to my side. Why did I think coming back could change anything? Did I really expect everyone to instantly trust me, Tilly to fall back into my arms? I'm a total idiot. I gently stand up, slipping off to my room, feeling Tony's eyes burning a hole through my back. 

Half an hour later, I'm still tossing and turning in my bed. Frustrated, I pull myself up, slipping on a pair of shorts and I T-shirt before making my way towards the training area. I completely let myself loose against the punching bag. I throw my fists at it, all other thoughts slipping away and focusing on the feeling of the rough fabric against my knuckles. Suddenly, the bag, flies away from me, slamming into the wall on the oppersite side of the room, a big split down the center. "shit.." I mumble, grabbing handfuls of stuffing and carrying it to the bin. Silently, a second pair of hands join me, us making quick work of the mess.

"can't sleep either?" Tilly asks after finishing cleaning up, sitting back on her heels. "nope. Too busy thinking" I reply, a hand trailing down my face. 

**-{T}-**

I'm sitting on bed, my headphones in, when I hear a sharp crash. I instantly make my way downstairs, wordlessly bending down to help Steve clean up the mess. Worry is clear on his face, I'm just not too sure why. "Can't sleep either?" I ask quietly, my curiosity taking over. "Nope. Too busy thinking.." he replies rubbing a hand down his face. He looks worn out, clearly he's been having as much trouble sleeping as I have. A soft piano melody begins in my head, and I instantly recognise Fake Your Death by MCR, playing through my headphones. I sigh, this song always make me feel emotional. 

_some people watch, some people pray, but even lights can fade away_

"I know I've mentioned it a lot today, but I do really miss you, T"

"I know. Me too" I admit.

_some people hope,_ _some people pay_

"Is there any chance left for us?"

_but why'd we have to stay?_

"I honestly don't know. You left me, Steve. that hurt me bad." he looks down, a tear on his cheek.

_cause even heros get the blues, or any misery you choose_

"I made a horrible mistake, I gave up my heart" he cries lightly.

_you like to watch, we like to use_

I just drop my eyes, unsure of what I can say.

_we were born to lose._

suddenly I look up, my eyes on his, an idea in my head. a moment of weakness.

_I choose defeat_

Suddenly my lips are on his, soft, gentle, yet desperate.

_I walk away, and leave this place the same today_

"I love you.. I always will" he mumbles against my lips.

_some like to sleep_

I let my hand slip under his loose shirt

_we like to play_

I lift his shirt over his head, my hands trailing over his soft muscles

_just look at all that pain._


	9. The pain I've caused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is severely awkward and to write and I'm regretting all my life desicions.

**-{S}-**

Nothing happened that night. I wouldn't let it, even if she had wanted to. "I want my first proper time, my first time that it means anything, to be- well- to mean something I guess." she explained to me last night. Understanding instantly, I pull her in for a hug, glad this wasn't just going to be a quick hookup. I'm going to do this right, I'm going to fix this.

**-{T}-**

_Just look at all that pain_

Never has a song lyric summed up a situation so perfectly before. The smooth yet rough voice of Gerard Way, blasting in my ear, my lips moving smoothly over Steve's, his arms holding me as if I were about to vanish, ceasing to exist. _Just look at all that pain_. The pain of Steve leaving, the pain of our battles, not knowing if each other will live, the pain of the time apart, the pain of the time together, the pain, the pain, _the pain_. Our relationship has been full to the brim of never ending pain, yet somehow it's now a comfort, a reliability, addictive beyond belief. That explains Steve pretty well, literally unbelievable. unbelievably perfect physically, unbelievably kind, caring, soft. unbelievably selfless, even to the point of idiocy, especially when he misreads a situation. just all round, _unbelievable._

he now lays in his bed, my head against his chest, his soft heartbeat hammering in my head. We're both stripped naked, yet he kept it completely innocent, which I was eternally grateful for. We had quite the make out session, all desperate and hot, before we somehow ended up cuddling, our eyes drifting shut as we steal glances at each other. My eyes finally drift shut as I feel his lips brush against my forehead, and for the first time since he left, I sleep through the whole night, not a single nightmare in my mind. 

My eyes slip open at the sensation of warmth against my eyelids, letting myself snuggle further into my bed. A strange sensation under my hands causes the events of the night before to come flooding back into my memory, a soft yet surprised "oh! "falling from my lips as I realize I'm, once again, snuggled up against Steve's chest.

"I know that you're gonna want to talk about this. But, for now, can we just enjoy this and not think too much?" he murmurs when he notices I'm awake, his voice slightly rough from sleep. "yeah, I'd like that" I reply, my hands painting patterns over his bare chest, his hands wrapped protectively around me. 

We laid like that for half an hour, just enjoying the silence and the feel of each other, before Tony pops his head around the door, talking excitedly about some new fancy coffee he has made. Chuckling, Steve stands, pulling his clothes on and smiling at me, before taking my hand softly as we make our way downstairs.

"Okay Tony, I'll admit, putting vanilla and orange oil in the coffee is not your worst creation ever" I grin, taking a sip of the sweet coffee. "oh my miss Lynn, was that an actual complement!" he fakes shock, his hand on his heart, pulling a really bad British accent. We all laugh, feeling lighter than we have in a long time.

Later that day, Steve and I are taking a walk around the city, each nursing a cup of coffee from our favorite coffee shop, admiring the soft colours and budding life of springtime. "So. you want to talk about last night?" Steve asks, sighing. "Do you?" I shoot back turning to face him while still walking. "I mean, I don't feel we need to. I'm pretty happy just seeing where this goes, I trust you enough to not need to talk about it." I explain when confusion shoots over his face. "oh okay cool I'd like that" he agrees. I cautiously wrap my hand in his, unable to help myself, earning a soft smile from him. "so we just.." he starts pausing slightly "Take things as they come." I finish, smiling. He nods, returning the smile, before turning a corner to head home, our arms swinging between us. 

So, you and Steve again, huh?" Clint asks, strolling into my room. I place the pile of freshly folded clothes on my desk, deciding to hang them up later. "well not really. We're just taking things as they come, seeing what happens type of thing." I explain, picking up a stray sock off my floor before placing it in my clothes hamper. "Wow. I'll admit, I thought for a moment there that it wasn't going to work out." he admits, sighing softly. "Come and talk to me, okay? I know I wouldn't be your first choice when it comes to talking about feelings, but I'm here for you, if you need me." Clint smiles up at me, crossing his legs and leaning back against my headboard. I plonk down onto the bed right next to him, causing him to bounce up into the air. A giggle falls from his lips as he lands. "oh, you've done it now, kid" a mischievous look lights up his eyes as he quickly makes his way towards me, his hands suddenly tickling my stomach. "wait- Clint NO STOP!" I flail my legs about, laughs falling from my lips until I accidently land a kick directly in his crotch. he falls back with a "oof", pain washing over his face. I stare at him for a second, before bursting out into laughter, causing him to pull a pouty face. "IM NOT GONNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU ANYMORE!" he shouts with a fake lisp, storming out my room. I chuckle to myself, falling back against my bed before grabbing my sketchbook and sketching a rough galaxy, decorating it with tiny stars, pinpoints of light, forming long, twisted arms. I look back down at it, identifying the galaxy as being a rough approximation of IC 3639, one of my favourite galaxies. I sigh, placing my book back under my bed before hauling myself out of bed to make everyone lunch. 

"yo JARVIS, shuffle my playlist would you?" I ask as I jog down the stairs. "you know, if all you're going to use me for is to play your sappy music, you may as well get one of those new google things" JARVIS sasses back to me. "aww, J, I know you love a bit of MCR" I laugh, 'dancing dead' By avenged sevenfold blasting around the room. "ooo good choice" I complement him, dancing along to the fast tempo while pulling some eggs out the fridge, soaking some bread in them while the pan heats up. "dead men may celebrate as the final chapter fades away" I hum along, placing a few sliced tomatoes into the pan "Hiding their liessss" I shout along, laying the bacon next to the tomatoes. "EVERYTHING IS PAID FOR TONIGHT WHILE AT THE PARTY OF THE DEAD DANCING IN THEIR GRAVEESSS" I sing at the top of my lungs, dancing around the kitchen while waiting for the egg soaked bread to cook. "AND WHILE THE WORLD THAT WE BUILT, TOLD THEM TO CHANGE, TOLD THEM TO LISTEN THEY JUST KEPT IT THE SAME" A voice sings from behind me. Hands suddenly spin me around, a giggle falling from my lips as I turn to face Steve. "AND NOW THAT MIDNIGHT HAS COME I'M IN A ROOM WATCHING THE DEAD DANCING IN THEIR GRAVES!" We sing together, dancing like madmen and laughing our heads off. Steve's smooth voice overlaps with my rough and generally out of tune one perfectly, the sound making the song 10 times better. I check on the food again, panting slightly as I feel arms on my hips. "so you can fight off 4 avengers wile barely breaking a sweat, yet singing and cooking leaves you breathless?" Steve laughs into my ear. "Maybe the company might be helping with the breathlessness" I admit, letting my voice drop down an octave, bathing in the darkened look his eyes give me, a hint of lust behind his eyes. he places a kiss to my lips, pressing my back against the work surface. "You people are odd" A voice behind us exclaims. we turn to see Nat sitting on the sofa, Clint's arm softly on her shoulder. "wait- how long have you guys been here!?" I ask, eyeing them suspiciously. "Half an hour before you cane down" Clint replies casually, aa slight grin on his face. "Great." I mumble, placing a few pieces of bacon and tomato in between the slices of bread. "Behold, the humble eggy bread sandwich" I announce, placing the 6 plates around the table. "J, get Bruce and Tony down here would ya?" I ask. "they're on their way" He replies after a second. 

Half an hour later, we are all helping Tony to get ready. He's got an online interview about the avengers initiative, which he decided we all needed to be there for. I slip on the stretchy fabric, picking up Steve's shield and making my way downstairs. I chuck Steve's shield at him, It hitting him in the back of the head. "wha- OW?" he shouts, confused, turning to face me. We all burst out laughing. "I'm pretty sure you're meant to catch it, starburst" Tony laughs, patting him on the back. Steve throws him a scowl before picking up his shield, quickly turning and throwing it at me, I dodge it, wrapping my fingers around the wrist strap. "At least someone gets it" Tony teases again, sitting down in his place. I hand Steve his shield, throwing him a smile and taking his hand. "hate you." he moans, forcing a soft laugh to escape my lips. We all sit down, me slowly trying to edge off camera. It's not exactly like I'm a proper avenger, no one knows who I am. If I show up at the interview people will just think I'm a fangirl in a spangly outfit who snuck onto the set. "Now we will hear from Tony Stark and the avengers, Live from their home. "Tony, welcome to the show." the host introduces us, me now managing to get most of my body out of the frame, the only thing visible is my leg, pressed up against Steve's and my hand that he is holding onto subtly in his lap. 

"The pleasure is all ours, Andrew, thanks for having us." Tony replies, a charming smile dancing across his face. They talked for a while about our missions, every now and again the presenter asking a difficult or passive aggressive one, which Steve skillfully bats away. "yes well we were surprised by the challenges awaiting us that day. we all rushed in without hesitation, our main focus on removing the citizens. a couple of us got hurt, but really Thanks to Shadow's quick thinking we got the situation under control" Tony explains dramatically, talking about our latest triumph against a few stray max security prison escapees. I roll my eyes when he makes out like I saved the day or whatever, it was Clint's idea, he was just 7 storeys up so unable to pull it off. "well, It was hawkeye's fast thinking, I just carried out the plan" I jump in, throwing Tony a look. "I've been meaning to ask, We've heard that name a lot today, Shadow, and yet we know nothing about who this mystery character is" the presenter tells us, his eyes alight at the chance to be the first to meet the new avenger. "Oh yes, it all happened so fast we didn't really have time to announce it. This is our new member of the team, Shadow." Tony introduces me, turning to give me a smile. "sorry to ask but could you shift the camera around, we can only just see her leg" The presenter tells him. oops. "oh! I'm so sorry I thought we had laid it out so everyone was in view" Tony responded, carefully adjusting the camera view. I watch Steve's face as he puts 2 and 2 together, turning to give me a disapproving look.

"Would you like to tell them a bit about yourself?" Tony asks, turning to face me and smiling encouragingly. I take a deep breath before starting talking. "Well, like Tony said, I'm the newest addition to the group. there isn't really much else to me to be honest." I explain quickly. "well while you were speaking, Miss Lynn, Our databases ran a quick facial recognition scan on you, sorry about that its just safety protocol. Is it true that you also did some amazing work in Astrophysics?" "yeah, before I ran into Tony, I was working as an Astrophysicist, exploring the compatibility each planet has with life, also looking back into the past or forward into the future to try and predict what has or could potentially hold life." I explain. "wow that is truly fascinating!" the reporter jumps in, overexaggerating greatly, causing me to subtly roll my eyes. "Tilly also holds some amazing powers which are one of the reasons we trained her." Nat declares, smiling at me. I send her a glare before starting up again. "welI yes actually got caught up in a very experimental experiment, not by choice. I gained a small power from it, now having the ability to change the frequency of light as it hits me, shifting it towards infrared, basically making myself invisible. I still haven't got it completely under control though, I tend to lose control of it if I get panicked" I laugh lightly, the memory of my first encounter with Steve in my head. "also, I don't really think I'm an avenger, as honored I am for you saying that, Tony, I just help out on a few missions." I add in, feeling the need to explain before people get the wrong idea. I see Steve roll his eyes next to me. "Tilly is just being modest, she's every bit an avenger as the rest of us, perhaps more." he jumps in, a slightly defensive look on his face. I sigh, him squeezing my hand twice. 

The interview continued for a further 20 minutes, before the presenter announced that its ending. "So we've just about ran out of time, Thank you so much for agreeing to do this, and a pleasure meeting you, Tilly." he smiles at us all. "The pleasures all ours, thanks for having us. Goodbye!" Tony says, shutting off the camera before turning to give us all a high five. "Good job everyone!" he shouts, a grin on his face. "Well done T, you were a natural at it" He smiles at me, holding his hand up. I raise my hand to meet his, before heading upstairs to get changed out of my gear. "Do you really not see yourself as an avenger?" Steve asks, walking slowly into my room. "well I'm not really. you say Steve Rogers or Captain America and everyone in the room will say the avenger. You say shadow on the other hand and people will look at the ground behind them" I mutter, my hand prying my zip down my stomach, trying to work out why it keeps getting stuck. "here let me help." Steve says softly, his hands replacing mine. "the only room that should matter in is these ones. Us, your family, loves you lots, why let what the world sees bother you? You do what's right, you fight the good fight, and you remain true to yourself. Don't pay attention to snotty Interviewers." He tells me gently, his hands making quick work of my zip. "thanks I mumble, fishing out a T shirt. "you up for a shower?"

**-{S}-**

I can't help myself, with the way that outfit sticks to her thighs, the feel of her soft skin as I pull off her top. "yeah, okay" She agrees, her eyes alight. Suddenly, her lips are on mine, one hand in my hair the other working its way under my shirt and slowly pulling it off. We stumble back into the bathroom, her back against the tile wall and my hands on her hips. We make quick work of each others clothes, a slight grin gracing her lips when she notices how the situation has affected me. we step into the shower, the warm spray of water on my back, her lips against my neck, placing gentle kisses across my collarbone. Suddenly, she grazes her teeth against my skin, nibbling and sucking in just the right spot, a soft moan falling from my lips. 

**-{T}-**

this is out of my comfort zone. I've never done anything like this before, when I'm in those bars I'm drunk and we get straight to the point. Steve and I fooled around in the shower once before, but that was a lifetime ago, and it all feels completely new now. Every nerve in my body is alight, my actions becoming more and more desperate with each moan that falls from his lips, his dick pressing against my thigh. I lean back to admire my work, placing a gentle kiss on top of the 2 deep purple marks forming on his neck. I latch my mouth back onto his, our tongues twirling together, desperately pulling each other impossibly close, both of us feeling it to be no where near close enough. One of his hands trails upwards, cupping my neck gently while the other slips downwards, gently squeezing my ass cheek. "Are you okay with this?" he asks me softly, his eyes lifting to meet hers. "yeah, I mean, I trust you with my life. you're not gonna hurt me." I tells him confidently, standing on my tiptoes to press another kiss against his lips, my hands running over his stomach.

This is unlike anything I've felt before. This closeness, the utter trust, the way the world instantly melted away. We somehow ended up on my bed, our hair damp, me straggling his hips. I grind down hard against him, moans falling freely from our lips, not a millimeter of our bodies not touching. "do you need me to um- uh-" he stutters, nervous, his hand flailing around. "No, I've done this enough times without that needing to happen." I reply a soft blush rising to my cheeks. "T... are you sure you want this? we really don't have to" he meets my eyes, worry on his face. "no no I want this. I want you." I run my hands over his stomach, pressing our lips together. "The serum made me immune to any uh- diseases but we can still use a condom if you would prefer?" he asks carefully, suddenly very nervous. "nah don't need to worry about that either" I reply, becoming more desperate by the second.

**-{S}-**

I quickly cover myself in lube, my hands returning to her hips. "You okay?" I ask again, still apprehensive after that mention of her past. "yeah, just please, get in me." _(yes, It did just take me about ten minutes to write that line)_


	10. The things we want, the things we need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so maybeee I wimped out. sorry, too awkward to go full smut on ya

hey I found lines!!!

* * *

* * *

how bloody exciting is that

* * *

... anyways

* * *

**-{S}-**

I feel Tilly shift in my arms, the memories of what just happened slipping back to me. Her all encompassing warmth as I finally pushed into her, the dizziness in my head that the feeling brought, her quiet wimpers, muttering things "faster" or "harder" into my ears, bringing the warm feeling in my abdomen with her words. she finally reached her peak, squeezing tighter and tigher around me, bringing me to my release soon after. We laid like that for a while, me acutely aware that all my weight was laid out on top of her, The trouble was mustering the energy to move. Both our bodies were completely relaxed. "I- wow. That was nothing like anything else" shw whispeder, her voice hoarse. I carefully flip us over, laying her on top of me and carefully pulling out.

**-{T}-**

I feel completely and utterly loved. My body is alight with flames, Steve finally slipping out, the soft trickle down my ass making me feel entirely owned and I ddo not mind one bit. He carefully flips us over, before reaching to grab the box of tissues, carefully cleaning us up before wrapping his arms around me. "I love you so much" he mumbles against my head, butterflies threatening to spill out of my stomach. "I love you too, so much" I whisper back. I lean over, checking the time. "we should probably get some dinner before you waste away" I sigh, pulling myself up and holding my hand out for him. 

**-{S}-**

I let Tilly pull me up after her, us both slowly slipping some comfortable clothes on before making our way downstairs. Luckily, everyone else was off doing their own things, so we didn't run into anyone. I watched her as I carefully stirred the pasta, looking totally and utterly fucked in the best sense of the word, her whole body relaxed. I placed 2 bowls of pesto pasta down onto the table, both of us shocked at how hungry we were. "this is bloody good pasta" she mutters, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth. I chuckle softly "if theres anything I've mastered, its pesto pasta. could live off the stuff." "what an idea. lets buy a cottage in the middle of nowhere, and live off pesto pasta and sex" she mumbles, her eyes drooping shut. "I'd love that" I laugh, cleaning up before carefully carrying her up to bed. We snuggle up together again, both of us instantly slipping off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to discontinue this and write a smutty, poetic and very very bad thingy.


End file.
